


Changed For The Worse

by eXplodesX



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Developing Relationship, F/M, Post-Steven Universe: The Movie, Slow Burn, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2020-11-15 04:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20860325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eXplodesX/pseuds/eXplodesX
Summary: Steven learned changing was important. But the young hybrid must go through the worst of it before he could ever see anything better. And he couldn't do it alone this time. (Set 1 year after the Movie)***Credits go to Rebecca Sugar and all of the Crewniverse***





	1. Paralysis Analysis

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! This is my first story to ever upload on here. I really want to have a more serious atmosphere due to Steven growing up but I still want to keep the tone of SU vibes so let me know whatcha think! I hope you enjoy my take on this lovely couple!

* * *

It was quiet for once. At least it was for Steven. The night sky overcame the Earth, while a large shadow from the outside patio appeared in the middle of the bedroom. He lays on his bed, but he didn’t feel the need to sleep. Instead, he stared at the blankless, white ceiling.

Earlier today, Connie had been over. This was the only day she had off, considering it was the weekend, and the two spent as much time together as they could squeeze in. In the morning around 8 AM, both Steven and she took a mini road trip around Delmarva, heading any and everywhere. Although they had a warp pad to travel to many cooler places, it was the simple things that mattered. Plus he was always excited to drive his car whenever given the chance.

During the evening, they came back to his house and stayed in to watch classic anime movies. The first choice was “Spirited Away” Connie’s personal favorite. They continued this up until they'd fallen asleep.

Unfortunately, things didn't play out the way they hoped for. Their peaceful nap was later interrupted by a loud ringtone. This didn’t alarm them at first. Then, a few seconds later, Connie had begun to panic, recognizing it was her ringtone. Steven could recall her eyes bolt up after she looked at her phone.

_ “Oh my gosh! My parents are gonna kill me!” _ She freaked out. Before the half-asleep teen could say anything, she was already down the stairs and out the door. 

Steven grabbed his phone out of his jean pocket and opened the device. The time read 11:05 PM. It had been twenty minutes since she left. No message yet from her. Surely she should be home soon. 

He knew for a fact that Beach City wasn't entirely dangerous. Little Homeworld was right around the corner, and many gems would visit here from time to time. Still, he felt uneasy with her walking home at this time of night. He couldn’t help it. She had a long distance to go and when he tried offering to drive her home, she’d mostly deny.

Connie was quite aware of what he was doing. It was hard to stop at first, given that it’s in his nature to worry about those he loved and protect them at all cost, but he eventually did. She was independent after all. He saw her grow stronger by the day and knew she was fully capable of handling almost anything in her way. Plus, he figured she would text him when she got home at least. 

The two started dating not too long ago, although it was technically the same way things were when they were younger. Neither one made it official, but it just kind of felt that way. The only difference would be that they're much older now. They've kept things simple such as her coming over his house, hanging out at Funland, or whatever they could come up with with the amount of time they had in their hands. He liked how things were at the moment, and wanted only for their relationship to build up naturally. 

Steven scrolled through their past messages. They usually texted almost every day, unless she was in the middle of doing tests or whenever she needed her full concentration on projects. And lately, Connie had been busier than ever. As she got older, so did her responsibilities, and he certainly didn’t want to cling all over her. Steven admitted to himself that he also had a lot on his plate as well. From holding responsibility as the Guardian of the Earth to having the title as monarch of the Diamond Authority, it was more than obvious that they couldn't pursue anything further than what they had at the moment. Not like it wasn’t anything serious, other than two close friends bonding when they are available.

The only time he could recall a bit of romance in their relationship was his very first kiss from her. It was nothing more than a kiss on the cheek. And nothing else came out of it rather than just a hug here and there, and holding hands. Still, it meant something for the two of them.

Steven proceeded to open up his photo gallery. There were ranges of photos, and a majority of the photos were the two of them together. This morning on their road trip, Connie had access to his phone and would take pictures when he wasn’t aware at first. Steven chuckled from one of the photos with him giving her a scowled look after realizing what she was doing. He found his serious expressions kind of funny. He then scrolled down to the next photo of the two with cheesy smiles on their faces. This made him smile as well. It was moments like these that allowed him to sometimes forget about the past. Even on _ that day... _

Steven winced at the thought again as he blankly stared at his phone. That day. Why did he have to remind himself of it? The same day he received his first kiss and his almost happily-ever-after was the same day another problem would arise. And he was the person to fix it. No one else could. Steven quickly puts up his phone and placed his arms behind his head. He was once again nightdreaming...

_ Again and again. _

Spinel came into the picture, and this changed his whole perspective on almost everything. it was all confusing at first. From the time she came to his home, to ruining almost everything he built up to. Steven almost lost hope that day, thinking it was all over, but the puzzle pieces came together with the help of the enemy herself. Only to find out she was betrayed by his mother to the point of leading her into madness. The teen lets out a breath of air from his sudden pause.

Part of knowing what happened to the gem, he began to wonder what he could've done that was never in his control as a child. If he had somehow activated the warp pad to that place accidentally or learned some sort of hint through his mindscape, he knew his would have willingly taken her in or fought tooth and nail just to find her. Only for it to never happen. And after six-millennia, it was only last year when she had only found out of his mother's demise, followed by the events that took place from Steven’s message of peace throughout the galaxy.

Steven shifted himself slightly on his bed, letting out another small ‘hm’. He wondered if he was in the wrong. He couldn’t deny that it has been on his mind for quite some time now. His intentions were to stop the Injector and get his friends back, and he did just that. He uplifted Spinel enough only to help him save the Earth, and she gave in.

In the back of his mind, though, he couldn’t stop thinking of his happily-ever-after. He felt selfish even during that time. It was very inconsiderate to have just told her to “forget it ever happened” and for him treat her like another walk in the park. It felt like a betrayal, and she panicked. Of course, she did. He should've remembered how much mental distress she was going through, shouldn't have said it like that… but...well, he did, and there was no going back.

All he remembered too well was their last altercation. It was at this moment when he realized just how wrong he felt. He could still hear her broken voice from each sentence she spewed at him, the surface of it changing drastically, and bringing out this now sorrowful, scorned gem. He was seeing her true self.

_ "Why do I wanna hurt you so bad...? I'm supposed to be a friend...” _

The face she was making... Steven could still remember the way she stared him down through the pink of his shield, through the tears in her eyes she was just barely holding back. He knew she truly didn’t want to cause him any harm. 

_ "I just wanna be a friend..." _

The realization that after everything Spinel had gone through, this was the end result. It was the regret written into every black line on her face. The utter despair that permeated every part of her being at that moment, she felt as if she had no return. She showed him her own vulnerability deep within her eyes and through her broken words, and that memory had stayed with him.

“Spinel...” He heard himself say.

Then, suddenly Steven felt himself vibrate, knocking him out of his deep thoughts. It surprised him at first, only to find that it was his phone, still in his pocket. He sat up and reached for the device, opening it. A message from Connie. Thank goodness. 

She texted him, 'Im soo sorry about that rush!'

Steven slouched his head back on the pillow, with the phone over his head. On the corner of his phone, the time had read 11:11 PM. What a lucky time indeed.

He texted back a response, 'don't worry about it! glad to know your safe though, I was worried.'

It was kind of awkward to text sometimes. Steven was more of a calling type. He couldn't truly express himself and texting made the context seem blunt in the matter. He wasn't sure if it was too silly to send an emoji to show some type of emotion until Connie replied to him, 'you don't have to worry all the time! this town is literally the safest places I know.. And that factual..almost.'

Steven responded with, ‘yea I guess you’re almost right lol’ , followed by ‘what did your parents say when you got home?'

She quickly replied, ' what do you think? -.-'

Steven laughed awkwardly. It wasn't funny sure, but he knew how things were gonna play out. He knew the next morning or evening, Connie's parents would probably storm into the house, right into his front room and give out a lecture on the talk once more in front of whoever was around. They certainly did not care who was around either.

Steven was still new to this subject matter, but he wasn’t dumb about what it was exactly. Not that he had learned it from anyone. Instead, he felt it as he reached the peak of adolescence near the age of fourteen years old. That was also around the same time he met Connie. He knew he acted kind of strange in front of her as the two got closer. The only thing that Steven was truly knowledgeable about at that time was more closely related to gem lives. His father taught him about love, sure, but he never told him how it was done literally for humans. It was up until he had reached his sixteenth birthday when the curiosity had struck him more.

Steven was aware that asking the gems was a lost cause (even if they did know, he was still embarrassed to ask such a question). He dared not to ask his father either. So instead, for some reason, he decided to go ask Lars and Sadie about it in which he fully regretted. They told him alright, and they made sure to entail every detail to him. Steven wished he had stopped there, but felt as if he couldn’t grasp the idea at first. So they’d recommended that he did “research” on the internet if he wanted to see the visuals.

The gullible Steven did so out of curiosity, and boy was it something that made things very, very awkward between him and Connie. He only thought of Connie as his best friend and someone he had sworn to protect. She meant the world to him. Their friendship felt wholesome and personal even. She was his first fusion experience and they’ve learned to fight as one. For the most part, it was pure love and genuine.

He couldn’t deny it being on his mind when she came over. But the idea made him feel wrong, very wrong. He just couldn’t do that to her. It just felt impure.

Realizing he was in his thoughts again and procrastinating in his response, Steven thought of a way to avoid this conversation. His mind was certainly heading in the wrong direction. 

He quickly comes up with a reply, 'well I shouldn't be surprised, knowing how the last time things went...'

At first, it took a few seconds for her to respond when all he got was, 'yea...' and she continued on the next line of text, 'anyways, I’ll text you in the morning, have to get up early!'

Steven grew anxious from her message. He hoped he didn’t anger her. She usually would keep the conversation going. Maybe her parents were getting at her for texting him in the first place. Or perhaps it's late and she actually had to get up early tomorrow. He left it at that for now. 

Steven only responded with, 'sleep well Connie~' with Connie to lastly text him, 'you too~'

Steven yawned out loud as he got out of his bed. He looked around his room, with only the reflection of the moon outside his patio and his static TV giving him noticeable light. He went to turn off his electronics and began cleaning up the mess both he and Connie made a few hours ago. Lying around were both opened and unopened snack bags and soda cans along with pieces of paper. They were notes from earlier during their movie session. It was sort of a ritual for them to take notes on scenes that spoke out to them or parts that confused them. Once the movie was over, they’d have a discussion on the notes they took and sometimes rewatched those parts. It sounded boring when Steven would try it to explain to Amethyst or anyone who came across their notes, but he knew it was outright entertainment for them and that's all that mattered anyway. Steven placed the notes on his nightstand, headed towards his door, and crept down the stairs.

It was dark on the main floor, and the shades to the door and windows were closed. As he made his way down the stairs, the sound of each step creaked. He continued over to the front door, flicked the light on, displaying enough for him to walk around and not bump into anything.

Heading towards the kitchen, Steven placed any unopened snacks on the counter, while he threw away any bags and empty cans picked up from earlier. Soon after he walked back towards the front door. He stood there for an awkward second and flicked the light back to off. Looking behind him, Steven saw that the temple was now dark and quiet with no one around. The gems didn't need to do any sort of missions that he knew of, so they usually stayed in their rooms during the night time. The warp pad stood in the middle of the back room.

Nothing was happening. But he felt...unusual.

_ “You actually liked me, didn’t you?” _

Spinel’s words began to come back to light and haunt down his thoughts. Steven sighed, placing his hand on his head from the annoying looped sentence. It had been a year since the incident. Surely everything was fine..? He glanced over to see his mother’s frame on the wall of the stairs. Something was off. The teen's face grew a little worried as he glanced back at the front door.

_ 'Maybe I should go for a walk. To clear my head and all ...' _ he thought.

He needed to get some fresh air. Steven grabbed his varsity jacket and shoes before heading out. The front door slowly creaked open as he tries not to make too much noise.

In his view, the sky was filled with many stars and the moon was just in the center. Steven slightly smiled as he closed the door behind him. The wind was slightly cool to the touch, but not enough for it to be chilly. This was perfect for a night walk on the beach. It has been a while since he had done this. Steven closed his eyes to take in the sounds of the current scene. Birds were absent in their chirps, but he didn't mind that. He needed this time of peace. Night walks would be some sort of distraction and could help elevate his mind at ease. He finally opened his eyes back up and began heading down the stairs.

Down the small steep hill led to the sandy beach. When the sand hit his open-toed sandals, the slight touch of sand made him smile. The inner child in him loved the feeling of sand on his feet. It sometimes felt nostalgic. Steven inhaled the fresh smell of the salty water to exhale it a few seconds later. He did this a couple of times as he headed towards the city.

The lights of the city were mostly off, but he knew it was that same time for businesses to close anyways. The city was still in slight shambles from the aftermath of Spinel’s Injector even after the use of his healing powers. Steven sighs at the view. Around the side of the forest-hill from Beach City, stood Little Homeworld from the distance. It was almost hidden but still noticeable. Their lights were on. It sort of reminded him of Empire City. Steven knew gems didn’t have to sleep and was curious to know what they did so anyway at times like this. It was near midnight, and humans like his half-self should be sleep. At least the ones in Beach City do. He never sought out to see just the answer though, since he would usually be asleep by now. Maybe the gems were still up at this time of night or maybe they chose to perform the Earthly rituals as humans do.

He looks over at the ocean. It was back to its normal blue from last year. Not only was his city harmed, but the Earth was also in serious consequences when the pink liquid spilled throughout the ocean. If they hadn’t acted any sooner, it would've gotten worse.

Steven continued his stroll across the beach. He looks up at the sky once more. Although millions of stars appeared on the face of the Earth, one stood out as Homeworld. He knew which one it was exactly too. Maybe it was more of a feeling than just knowing.

"I wonder how it's going up there anyway?" he thought out loud. 

The Diamonds haven’t communicated with him since their little “agreement” to take Spinel back to Homeworld instead of living on the planet Earth. He was almost sure that they’ve had their full attention on her. They were a lot to handle, but he knew Spinel needed all the love she could get. The thought of loneliness for six millennia was too impossible to visualize, but she was proof of that. 

He’d witnessed cracked gems and saw the face of many corruptions, and he knew how to fix the problem. Spinel wasn’t corrupted in the mind, instead, she was mentally broken to the point of changing her own appearance based on her emotional distress at the time. That truly broke him. Steven closed his eyes for a second, taken back to his memories. He opened his eyes and stared down at his gemstone area, covered by his shirt.

His mom really, really messed her up. Being the empathetic person he was, Steven truly wanted to save Spinel and show her that she didn’t have to be alone. He wanted her to be part of his family here on Earth. Not that the Diamonds were his family, but it was different.

But...

But she was fine with the Diamonds. Nothing had been told to him, no conflicts have been opened from Homeworld. Steven admitted to himself that he even willingly tried avoiding ever visiting. Now that they had Spinel as his “replacement” to Pink Diamond’s room and essentials, this gave him more leisure. That was the least he (or they) could give her in exchange for the empty years she spent alone.

And he could remember Spinel even saying so herself. It wasn’t healthy for her to be around him. She needed to start over since she had started badly with him. He figured she had already made friends and decided Homeworld was where she was meant to stay. Garnet didn't seem to have any future visions from anything countering this situation any further. Peridot took control of the Earth's telecommunication channels but was never given any word from any sign of threat. So everything was fine. Right?

Steven pouted at the endless pondering. He had been walking for about 10 minutes now. Why couldn't he stop thinking of this? Surely he has seen many bad things his mom has done. Maybe it had something to do with his mother always making him responsible for fixing her past actions, or could it be he was becoming more paranoid as time went by. Her influence truly brought his mood down.

"Who knows.." Steven softly told himself once more as he continued rambling through the beach, coming near the docks. 

_ ‘Maybe it was because you pushed her aside..’ _he answered to himself.

Steven gritted his teeth from the thought of his past actions. He definitely knew he wasn’t over it. It was an everlasting memory that was stored within him, along with many other past mistakes.

It had been almost four years since the Diamond Authority had drastically changed their dictatorial ways, and for once he thought it was all over. He thought he could enjoy his happily ever after. But Spinel had come to ruin that fateful moment all in one day, making Steven think there was no such thing.

_ 'Why did she have to come here? Things were so close to being perfect... ' _

Steven couldn't believe it the thought that came to him. It certainly was in her intentions to harm everything he's built up to, but she had a reason... And that reason was his mother. The name felt bitter to his tongue. He’d never met her, yet he was beginning to resent her. Steven never imagined he would ever think of his mother this way.

"No such thing as perfect," he said under his breath. 

He should've realized that, after finding out that his mom wasn't anywhere close to it. Forgiving her was the first step, even if she couldn’t hear him. Still, sometimes it was harder to forgive everything she's done. And the list will only continue to build up.

"No such thing as happily ever afters... only in fairy tales.." he bluntly told his child-like mind that still held on. Although the Diamonds had created a story about him, he’ll never know what happens at the end. This was a story about him after all. Spinel wasn’t, and wouldn't be the only surprise he had coming. It had been quiet for the most part on Earth, except when it wasnt...

Steven lets out a sigh.

Now that he thinks about it, he never even apologized to Spinel for his actions alone. Not his mom’s, but his. This made her feel like it was only her fault.

“It was her fault though...” 

Many thoughts were racing through Steven’s head. She chose to want to hurt him and his friends. She knew what she was doing. He had to stop giving those who want him dead excuses. Still, his mom was responsible for these reactions. But his mom was no longer here. Here he was now and the responsibilities for her past mistakes had never been so high. Steven constantly battled this internal conflict on unanswered questions.

And this walk surely wasn't helping. It was further enabling him to get mixed in with his feelings. 

Suddenly he stopped in his place. There was a sudden change of feeling he had. It wasn’t painful, but it felt...familiar. He remembered this from long ago during his “fusion training” with Connie. It was a lesson about dealing with their emotional pain. Connie was able to get over it, but for Steven... he tried. It was sort of easy at the beginning, but the conflicts continued to build up from that point on.

Steven suddenly collapsed on the ground and felt tears running down his eyes. It was hard for him to speak out loud. Instead, he let out a rasped whisper,

"Why...?” Steven sobbed for a while. He figured confronting his feelings could somehow allow him to end this internal turmoil. Blaming himself was easy enough. He chose to take this responsibility and make things for the better. he knew he had to learn from his ignorance as a child that the world is not black and white. It was much more complicated than that.

"Why mom… Why... me..?" he continued his sorrows. Why indeed. What made his mom choose to have him all of a sudden? This thought has been on his mind during the dark times. If she knew that there were so many problems, why did she want him to continue to live through her? 

He closed his eyes once again, tears continuously flowing out, and he moved his hand under his shirt. He touched his gemstone, and when he did, it felt...warm. He’s never felt his gem feel any type of heat. A small peek of a pink glow made him suddenly open his eyes. His gem was… glowing?

"M-mom?" 

No response of course. Instead, sounds of the waves were moving aggressively, winds were cooling down the air, and then the sound of...

“Huh..?” he whispered

It was very faint, but he could’ve sworn he heard something. It sounded like a voice almost. But barely noticeable. Steven quickly got up from his spot. He looked around for a bit but saw nothing in plain sight. The voice was unrecognizable due to the lack of volume.

“Is anyone out there?” He asked out loud. No response. The waves were crashing into one another and the wind followed along with the breeze. Steven gulped down a breath of air and decided to backtrack his steps back home.

As he walked back, a sudden flicker of pain hit him all at once, making him fall on his knees once more.

“Ugh.. what is going on?” He asked himself in a bare whisper.

It was coming from his gem, as it was noticeably glowing more and more. Steven could feel a light sweat overflow his body. It took a few minutes for him to get back on his feet and continue his way back home. The wind was beginning to subside as the waves slowed down. But that voice was still sound. It felt nearer but was nowhere in sight. He finally made it back to his destination and found..no one.. Or rather nothing oddly out of place.

Steven couldn’t help but think it was a gem related problem. His gem was causing him to feel a weird sense of pain, and he was hearing noises. This wasn’t the first time he had this similar type of reaction with gems nearby or his dreams leading to other gems.

Was there a gem nearby?

Little Homeworld wasn’t too far from the city, but something told him it wasn’t out there. It felt close. Very close.

“I should sleep this off...” Steven felt his sleepy side hit him as the idea came to mind. He could just tell the others what was going on all of a sudden and maybe they would know. This most definitely had something to do with his mom, and he just couldn’t answer it for himself. He was at the point of exhaustion. That was until he heard the small voice again. Steven knew he couldn’t give up just yet and had to find the source to this, but it was hard to tell where.

“Maybe it's coming from somewhere in the city..” Steven groaned at the thought of looking around the entire city, but he had to sort this out. 

He started by running over to the Big Donut. It was closed, obviously, but there was a slight chance for (former) Mayor Dewey or someone to be around. Nothing. The search continued. It took nearly 10 minutes for Steven to wander around each neighborhood, and he had to do it quietly. 

“Would've been easier with Lion around,” he heard himself complain. 

The pink feline often spent its nights over at the Little Homeworld. Who knows why, and he could never get the answer from the animal. At first, he wondered if the sound had finally stopped. No, it hadn't. He could still feel it, even though the voice was dim. And there was nothing around at the moment to be found from this.

Steven was on the last brink of hope when he ran over to his father's car wash. The van was parked nearby. At first, the thought of asking his father for help came to mind, then he instantly thought against it. His father was hardly into magic stuff, as he’s said, especially if it was a threat. Still, he wasn’t sure if it even was a threat.

Then, without hesitation, Steven leaped high in the air, just right above the city. The view felt somewhat clearer than running around town. It took some time for him to master his floating power, but he finally got it.

“Should've done this from the beginning,” he said to himself. Steven took his time as he hovered over the city right below him. He should've probably gotten a better angle, but he was able to see just enough in his viewpoint. Right in front of him stood the giant hill, behind which laid Obsidian and his home.

There were obvious hollowed-out areas on top of the hill, one from the explosion of the Injector, and the other smaller one from the first invasion. Bundles of flowers and grass had grown over the areas he used his healing powers on, but the crater-like hole was still imprinted on the hill.

The lighthouse stood right on top of the hill that caught his attention. Steven thought of this as a last resort for him to end the night. It had been at least an hour since the situation had come to play. If he found nothing, he would like to give it a rest and-

Then from a glimpse of his eye, Steven could've sworn he saw someone moving at the bottom of the larger crater. It was night time, so perhaps his mind was playing tricks on him. He was tired after all. But still, this was at least somewhat of a start.

“This has got to be it,” he said.

He glided himself down slowly back on the ground near the bottom of the hill, next to his father's car wash. Striding up the hill with haste, he heard the voice become clearer. But it was still unrecognizable. With hesitation, Steven crouched down and slowly made his way to the edge of the steep hole.

That's when he felt it again. That same feeling from earlier. The gemstone planted on his stomach felt hot this time. Burning hot.

“Ugh.. not right now..”Steven groaned to himself as this strange feeling came back. 

Though, it didn’t take him too long before he finally reached the edge to where he could have a better view inside the crater. He made sure he wasn’t too loud as he looked down to see the source. The figure was at the bottom of the crater with its back turned, and the dark shadow had overcome its body. This made it hard for Steven to see the perpetrator. If he tried to confront them now, they might just runoff.

The sound was now clear. It actually sounded familiar, too familiar really. It definitely wasn't Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet, or any other gem he could think of at the matter. Surely they would never be down here at a time like this. Still, he wouldn't be surprised. But something told him it wasn't really them. There weren't any other gems he could think of that could be down there, that also lived on the Earth. But he recognized it, almost like it was...

“Spinel...?”


	2. Conviction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone who've liked the first chapter! I am sorry for the long wait but here it is! I hope you enjoy this one. It's a little slow still I know... but I truly want to get more in-depth on what the characters (well Steven for that Matter) are feeling exactly. Plus I'm still new to writing ^.^ Let me know what you think. I am open to constructive criticism. :D

“Spinel...?” Steven whispered.

He peeked over the edge, while now laying flat on his stomach. The moon brightened half of the hollowed-out area, while a shadow overcame the other half. The gem appeared to be near the central peak of the bottom floor, making her body almost silhouette to the darkness of the shadows. Had he not been lucky enough to catch her from the corner of his eye, Steven would’ve never seen her there. He came to a recognition of her apparent soft voice, but something was bugging him now. That _ burning sensation _he felt just recently had just, as he puts it, vanished into thin air. Which was weird for it to come and go in the first place, as he had never felt such....weird emotions, not even when around or near Connie...But that didn’t bother him much at the moment. As what bothered him was the gem sitting in the crater. Spinel.

_ How did she get here? _That was the question that came to mind. And he wasn’t just talking about down here in particular but on Earth. There were no obvious signs of any type of spaceship (or Injector, thank goodness) at the view. Even if there was one, someone would’ve alerted him by then. So that crossed out of his mental list of scenarios. There was a slight chance she could have warped here. It was the only logical answer that made actual sense. Perhaps she's done this before and he's only now found her in the act. He barely went for evening walks, especially ones so late at night. Still, nothing about this made any sense. She couldn’t just have warped here without anyone taking notice of the obvious light beaming from the sky. Even so, which one did she come from? And not only that..

_ Why is she even here? _This was the next of many questions that popped up. He had just thought of this particular gem not too long ago, only for her to suddenly appear right in front of him. Just when he was trying to walk off the situation in the first place. It was just too coincidental. Spinel should be light-years away from the Earth. She should be on Homeworld, at the palace with the Diamonds. Not here. 

Surely this was just some sort of dream or nightmare. That, he wanted to believe more than ever. It wasn’t an ideal answer, and he knew that. Even so, there had to be something he was missing. All night, he’s been fighting this strange feeling, yet here he was. Steven’s mind went back and forth on whether he should confront the gem to get any answers, that thought held merit. After all, she did come here unexpectedly without any type of warning.

At the same time though, being _ too _up front wasn't the best choice either. The young adolescent didn’t want to easily scare her off or worse, set her off. The last time he talked to Spinel, was when she told him how she wanted a fresh start elsewhere. Along with the Diamonds’ surrounding her, supposedly he presumed the pink gem was learning for the better. Yellow and Blue were more considerable emotional factors for her, but White Diamond was.. something else. Not sure if she played anything into this, but the teen definitely wasn’t in the mood for another altercation. It wouldn't take a year to change oneself entirely, but progress was what mattered to Steven the most for those who wanted to change. If the Diamonds could somehow change their ways, so could she. The pink gem should have a good reason to be here then, she wouldn’t just come out of nowhere randomly. Up until tonight at least. 

Steven puts his attention back to Spinel. Her viewpoint was a little more clear as the moon's reflected light from the sun shifted drastically, allowing more of its light to peak over to the shadowed area. From what he could see, she had the same clothing outline and her hair was still in two ponytails. But it wasn’t puffed up as he had seen them before. Nor were they in heart-shaped buns. They looked as if they were laid flat on her back. Although the gem was turned away, he could tell something was wrong. She seemed to be huddling onto herself. He remembered that same type of posture from her “not-so-violent” moments. It was that same night when she had ran off from the “Sadie and the Killers” concert. He had found her at his warp pad while her memories were slowly coming back to the surface, her eyes displayed a sadness Steven still has dreams about or maybe it would be more accurate to call them nightmares. That was right before they went to where it all started. The very place she never left. ; Pink Diamonds' Garden.

Right now at this moment, she hadn't moved from her spot since he got here. Instead, her voice peaked through. It wasn’t clear on what the gem was saying, considering he was a bit of a distance away from her. She was mumbling to herself. Her voice went through his earlobes, but the jumble words remained slightly fuzzy. If he could focus his concentration on the traces of words she spoke, maybe he could figure out what was going on. Steven closed his eyes and listened. It took a few seconds before something came to him.

_ “.....stupid...stupid..stupid..” _ That was the first line of words that became clear, which was all he needed to hear to know that he was right; something was clearly wrong. The word looped over and over. She was continuously insulting herself. Steven opened his eyes and, to his shock, he could see that she was noticeably yanking onto her pigtails, stretching them to look jagged and razor-like. The single repeated word continued to play along the lines as she continued to put harm onto herself. But why? What could she have done to beat and verbally abuse herself this much over? Surely this couldn't pertain to the Diamonds, could it? Steven reached in his jean pocket to grab a cellular device. He opened his screen, and to his luck, the screen brightness was automatically adjusted. The time had read 12:25 A.M. Wow. He didn’t realize how fast time had flown by but more importantly he checked to see if there were any unread intergalactic messages or missed calls. Nope. Thanks to Peridot, he’s able to communicate all the way from Homeworld even when he wasn’t around the giant screen in his temple room. Though he had no reason to use either of them lately. Or ever honestly.

Then another noise comes from the gem, catching the young hybrid’s attention. It almost sounded like she was laughing...or crying. Was she crying? 

Suddenly Steven felt his body tighten. All at once a feeling of warmth hit his skin, causing the teen boys' eyelids to almost shut from the sudden change of body temperature. He placed his hand near his abdomen, which was the main root of it. His half-closed eyes moved down at his stomach. His gem glowed through his shirt once more. That strange feeling was coming back. _ Not. Again _. It was coming right back. Though it wasn’t as bad as it was before. It just felt like his gem was reacting from...something or someone... 

_ Hold on. Just hold on... _

“Is my gem...reacting to...” It came to him. Surely that was...possible. He heard her voice from miles away and it led him here at this moment. Only when he spotted her shadow from the corner of his eye. _ It was by luck _, he thought. Still, just how lucky could that really be? And not only that, his gem has been having an ongoing linger ever since he went for his walk. He even felt peculiar from the time Connie had left. Just something felt out of place. It was not coincidentally. It was gem related. But just... what did it mean?

The teen put his attention back down to...Spinel? The same spot she was just at is now empty. Where could she have gone?

“Did she see me?” he whispered out loud.

The young hybrid felt stable to move now that the pain wasn’t as bad as it was earlier, how convenient. He was able to crawl a little closer to the rim of the crater. At this point, his head was just over while his body still flat on the hill. Pushing the palm of his hands just right on the edge, Steven lifted himself to get a better view of the giant hollowed-out space. He remained obscure, at least he had hoped so. The noticeable lighted areas were what his eyes first fell on to continue his observation around the lower ground. She wasn’t seen in any area of light, leading him to believe she might be in the darkness somewhere. Or she might’ve just runoff.

“Dammit...” he pouted, lowering his arms back where they were previously.

He never really liked swearing, but times such as this made it come out every now and then. Only during his own frustrations and at this point, he was right up there. The last time he had an outburst was his last _'fight'_ with Kevin, which was a completely different story altogether. That stubborn **prick** _ \- how’d that slip out- _ was really starting to get under his skin, allowing him to show a side he never intended to have. As he grew older and matured, the teen learned to not allow others to get to him, allowing his hate to slowly subside. Probably why he forgave Spinel when she came here to purposely hurt his family and friends and tarnish everything he proudly built up to. And she did so as if it was some sort of game when it came to the lives of others.

_ Mom started this mess. _His self-conscience overlapped in his mind. It was true that his mom started this. Still, he had to remind himself that she couldn’t be held responsible for Spinel's actions alone. Well, maybe some of it but not the entire way she acted and choose to lash out. 

Steven touches his gem once more. It was still warm. Was his gem telling him something? 

He had never felt this way from anyone except with his fusion experiences. And it was more than just dancing or feeling. It was a tandem between two consenting beings if done right. Garnet had stated before that fusion was meant to be taken very seriously. But he wasn’t even in the mood to fuse, and definitely not with Spinel, it would feel wrong. 

He knew Spinel was made to be Pink Diamond’s playmate, someone she had a “friendship” with if you call it that; And that her gem belonged in his court if he wanted to go that far. This made him wonder if it had anything to do with his gem reacting to her in general or just his own still lingering feelings from her trying to kill him...or could it be....nope. Not even gonna entertain those thoughts. He had never really actively interacted with any pink gems before...well except one. Steven twitched slightly, he definitely had to stop that. Maybe it was pink gems in general who made him feel...these emotions.

Then out of nowhere, the teen felt one of his hands lose balance as the edge was crumbling from the tightening grip his palms had on the soil, in mere seconds. His eyes widened from the unexpected moment. 

“Woa-” Before Steven could hold on to anything in site to stabilize himself, it was too late as the force of gravity pushed him right off the rest of the way. He slopped over the edge having given gravity the forward momentum it needed to cause him to fall. He landed hard on the steeply inclined walls. Luckily for him, his shoulder broke most of his fall from any further damage to his body, or worse, his gem. It didn’t stop there, however, as his body also began to leave a huge trail of flowers and grass it, unfortunately, being pushed or flattened while he rolled the rest of the way to the bottom of the crater. Once he officially landed on his side, the teen just laid there. 

“Ughh..” he let out a soft groan. His body felt like everything was rupturing itself from the many tumbles that led him down here. After sitting there for what felt like minutes, Steven pushes his arms off the ground, aching as he does so. His left shoulder felt bruised. It took a few more seconds then normal for him to now be in a sitting position with only his legs laying down. He tried not to get any angrier than he was at his own dumb mistake. He was just glad it wasn’t any worse, and he had the advantage of his powers.

“Healing powers sure come in hand for clumsiness heh...” Steven remarks in an attempt to joke to himself about his carelessness, but aches in pain as he took hold of his nearly broken shoulder. The teen licks his lips, allowing enough saliva to cover his mouth for a simple injury, bringing his shoulder close to his lips. He chuckles a bit to himself as he knew it wouldn’t be a simple injury for a human to sustain. With the connection of his lips to his shoulder, a shine of glimmer appeared and magically brought his shoulder bone back to brand new. The main part of his pain went away instantly. But his body was still aching. It was probably better to rest than to keep moving, oh wait! His phone. Steven quickly pads himself. The rapid searching is causing him massive aching and discomfort as he finally yanked out his phone, luckily only a cracked screen was visible as he sighs in relief.

“..Steven..?” This caught the boys' attention. He looked in front of him to see the figure before him. _ It was her. _He almost forgot about the situation at hand.

Now he was able to get a closer view of the gem before him. She looked...the same. Not surprising though considering that it had only been a year. From her rabbit-like ears as her two ponytails to those dark lines on her face. For some reason, he thought they would’ve gone away by now. The teen boy laid there for a second looking up at the gem standing a few feet away from him. Her eyes were widened from the pure shock of this sudden unexpected reunion. 

“Spinel…” he finally spoke her name in a whisper. It was as if saying the name brought an almost bittersweet taste in his mouth. 

He had seen that same look from her but rarely paid much attention in the past. He had never given much more thought into it. But now, everything came to view at such a fast pace. Her skin was an obvious pink, while her hair was almost a dark crimson color. As he had witnessed before, they were still hanging low. He tried to ignore the black lines, but the way they had fit on her lower eyelids made her eyes stand out. It was weird. But he could truly see the color of her eyes. _ Deep Magenta _ . They glimmered from the bright moon in the sky. There was an almost dark and mysterious _ lure _to them...Steven scratched that out immediately. 

As soon as Steven finally came back to reality, he began to pick himself up. This movement alone gave the gem a reaction to take a huge leap back, stretching her legs away from where she was just at.

“Wait, Spinel!” Steven protested as he tried to catch up with the gem, who was now yards away from him. He had forgotten how fast she was. She wasn’t built like other gems. 

“I-It’s really me!” Steven yelled out just loud enough for anyone nearby to hear. The gem probably didn’t hear him though or didn’t care to listen but she kept stepping backward. Then the gem lost her balance. She yelped from suddenly falling back onto the ground.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” He asked. Spinel still didn’t respond and just stared at him from the distance they were at. He tried a second time to get closer and she began behaving the same way she did at first. Instead, she was crawling back this time. It's like he’s playing a game of cat and mouse at this point, except he wasn't trying to be a cat.

“Spinel..just talk to me...please?” His voice was now calmer than the first time. Spinel did respond to that. She slowly stopped herself. _ Good _. She wasn’t trying to run off now. Steven walked over to the gem, who was lying before him. Once he was close to her, he held out his hand to her and offer a smile along with it, reassuring her there was no bad blood. She didn’t seem fazed by it and continued to gawk at Steven.

“W-Why ar’ you h-hea’..?” she finally responded with another question. Steven paused for a sec. Of all things, she asked him that? He should be the one to interrogate here, not her! Then it hit him. He couldn’t get mad at her. Not right now. Steven sighed and smiled slightly.

“Well... I could be asking you the same thing..” he said in an almost sly tone. 

Spinel stares at him for a few more seconds before simply looking down. She attempted to look anywhere else but in Steven’s view. The wind softly blew through the teen's hair, giving him a slight chill from the touch. This soft whisper broke down into an awkward silence for the two. 

Suddenly, her eyes took notice of Steven’s hand right in front of her face. He was attempting to offer his hand once more. At first, Spinel hesitated but took it eventually. The connection alone felt as if a spark surged through Steven’s body, from head to toe. His gem wailed slightly at the touch as if it had a mind of its own. Once she was off the ground, Steven immediately broke contact with her, and with that, the shere spark feeling had instantly vanished once more. His eyes were full of shock, but he tried not to show it. He wondered if she felt that too. Spinel was looking at him dazed and all. But she had that same look on her face since he first saw her.

“Spinel... What are you doing down here?” This was the same question from his smart remark towards her, but he figured asking the gem wouldn’t be too hard. He hoped. But instead, she looked down once more as she hesitates with her words.

“I..uh..I..” the sound of her voice was full of nerves and circuits loosely going out of whack.

“W-well I-I just..umm so happened to come by an-and thought..” she pauses for a moment and Steven could see her twiddling her gloved thumbs, while she now stood in a crossed legged position. She looked almost like a kid getting in trouble for something she did wrong. He was probably getting something out of her, too. Maybe this could be the break for him. What was she here for and why? Obviously it couldn’t be him right? Well, that was a high chance. Who else would she be here for? Unless something was wrong at Homeworld…

“I just dropped by to say hi is all...” Steven heard her suddenly respond. He was looking at her face, with her eyes closed, and a sleek smile coming from her white teeth. 

“You came down here all the way from Homeworld...Just to say hi..?” He recounts her very words. She was basically trying to convince him that?

“Sure did! Hehehe..heh..” she said in an excited yet noticeable frightened tone. She was lying obviously, and he could tell each sign she was giving. But why was she lying? Steven then raised one of his eyebrows at the gem. Her body language seemed shaky but she held the resistance of a more active posture, while she continued to smile relentlessly. Although he could tell it was obviously fake, he was slightly smiling to himself over it. She was desperately trying to play the part.

“Well, I should be on my way! Nice saying hi to ya, Steven!” she says in an excited tone, while simply walking past the hybrid. Steven stood still at his spot, almost shocked by her simply trying to "walk" off from the situation. He didn’t respond at first. In fact, he was trying to figure out the next line of words to say. She definitely wasn't telling the truth for sure. But he had to get something out from her. 

“Friends don't lie Spinel…” Steven said out loud, stopping the gem. This definitely got her attention. She was only a few feet away from him.

“Me… yoa’ friend?” She asked in a low tone as she turned to look back at Steven. He hesitated slightly as he noticed the surprised look on her face. Surely he thought of Spinel as a friend. Even though their first hit off was more forced since she was made to be a friend. Even so, he got through to her and offered her the relentless care from the Diamonds as well as Pink Diamond’s belongings on Homeworld. That meant something right?

“Yeah! Of course, we are, I thought since me and yo-” He was briefly interrupted by Spinel.

“Wha-what ar’ you even saying!?” Spinel yelled in response. He was taken by her sudden burst out. He wasn’t surprised though, as he was waiting for it to happen. But she didn’t stop there.

"Callin' me a friend and all just like that?" Her face was full of anger as she continued to lash out. 

“I-I almost ruined everything! The earth, ya actual friends and everyone else!” She protested, her arms were trembling and wailing as she points at herself. She was definitely spiraling hard and the change and tone of her voice was almost in a pain of agony. It was heartbreaking.

“ I took away ya happily ever after.. I-I-” her voice was becoming slightly calmer as her words stumbled. She was trying to get her sentence across. 

“I..nea’ly.. killed you..” Steven suddenly witnessed her unhinged limbs wrapping around her lower torso area, clinging onto herself tightly. It looked as if she was trying to spill her guts out from just how tight she clung onto herself. But she didn't have those obviously. Then the gem fell onto her knees once more. Her eyes closed shut as if she was trying to hold back tears.

"What kinda friend does that...?" She was becoming a mess and Steven had to do something. She was surely reacting to something more than just his words of kindness. First, he needed to give her reassurance. Then something came to mind.

"What makes you think you're the only one?” He asked as if she would answer the question. The gem doesn’t look at him at first, but opened her eyes, solely looking at the ground below her.

Steven gulped up a huge lump in his throat. He continued on as he thought, “Trust me Spinel, you haven't been the worst thing I've experienced-.” Spinel peaks up at him, giving him a look of shock. It was almost as if she was taken aback from his words. Good maybe? Or bad.. _ No just a poor choice of words._

"I-I mean not like you were any bad as others who've tried to kill me anyway.. Hehe.. At least you weren't like White Diamond who literally took my gem off my-" as he retorts his statement, he takes notice of the no flustered gem. He knew he wasn't getting anywhere and was probably making things worse. He can't pull that again. Not after last time. Steven sighed and continued to speak in an even calmer tone.

"Look…” He says in a more serious tone.

“This place isn't doing us any good... Let's get out of here first and then we can talk..if you want to at least." His voice was almost deep, showing a more assertive side with a hint of his old rhetorical self. He sticks out his welcoming hand to the gem. Spinel almost blushes at his sudden posture. This was the third time now. _ How nice of him.. _ Her body retracts back to her normal height and now articulated shape. Her head points back down at the ground nervously. 

Should she follow him? the last time she did, things didn't turn out pretty. And it wasn’t any different from now...was it?. Something was telling her she could trust Steven this time. After everything they’ve been through, he was kind enough to show her another light to him and even convincing her to get through her hatred. And she did.. sorta...Her gloved hand reaches up at his hand... And she takes it. He picks her up from the ground and the two began heading out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo I kinda had to end it abruptly due to how long it was going to end up being. So chapter 3 should be out by next week since I already have 50% of it done :P Again sorry for the long wait!
> 
> Shoutout to @Peacekeeper2600 from Discord for helping me sort through it :D
> 
> ***BTW THE "friends don't lie" part is from Stranger Things... I just thought I'd put it as part of my story :D**


	3. Oath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ASGASFASDF Okay I know I promised this last week, but things happened and soo ya...anyways..
> 
> I am currently getting my story beta read so there will probably be changes!! So I hope you guys enjoy what I have to offer.

Not a peep was sounded. Spinel followed along as Steven led the way to their “exit”. But if he was honest with himself, he wasn’t sure where to start with this exit. The scene felt uncomfortable for him to fully grasp, as he retracted his previous steps. The atmosphere was confined from the jagged floors to the darkness. Not to mention he was still in pain from his tumble down. 

_'No wonder things were tense earlier...'_

Just as the two had gotten closer to the walls of the crater, Steven suddenly stopped in his tracks as he looked up at the top of the cliff. This caused Spinel from behind to bump right into him, and he nearly lost his balance.

“Oh sorry!” both had said almost simultaneously. 

Steven quickly adjusted himself and turned over to check on Spinel. At the same time though, she had put her hands up in panic mode nearly backing away from him, inch by inch.

“Don’t worry, Spinel, I’m not gonna hurt you.” He said in defense of the sudden action, giving her a reassuring smile.

She just stared back at him. After a few seconds though, she stopped in her tracks and lowered her arms. Steven took that as not a bad thing. At least for now. Right now, they needed to get out of here. He turned back around and looked up at the rim. Only one thing he could do; jump his way out. That wasn’t hard at all. Just one problem though..Spinel. 

How was she going to get out? Surely she could just bounce her way on up? He turned his head just enough to peak at Spinel on the left corner of his eye. She didn’t pay him any mind this time. Instead, she was twirling her gloved thumbs while still looking at the same part of the ground. No.. He couldn’t just expect her to do that while she was in this state. She was in a very dark spot, literally.

_ ‘But who’d expect you to?’ _ he felt his internal self-question himself.

He wasn’t a selfish person(at least he hoped so), but he had to draw the line between being too selfless as well. Just right now didn’t seem like the appropriate train of thought for him to debate that either. Instead, he went with his instinct and what he knew by nature. 

Steven then turned completely around to face. Spinel didn’t take notice at first until she felt his presence getting closer. She looked up to see that their bodies were close while their faces were nearly inches away from each other. His face began turning red from this sudden closeness while she only appeared speechless. This wasn’t the first time he had seen her this close, but this time was different. Her eyes were fully opened and completely aware, not filled with homicidal rage from before. Plus they weren’t falling from the sky. No. Truth be told, this was much more awkward.

“H-hold on,” He quickly said as he proceeded to lightly wrap one arm around the gems’ midsection, ensuring her security. 

This took Spinel completely by surprise. But she was not quick enough to respond before Steven completely swapped her off her feet, turned around to face the walls of the crater, and leaped off the floor, forcing her body upward.

“Eeep-!” she yelped.

The two were just high enough to reach themselves out of the crater onto the grassy hilltop. As they landed on the ground, Spinel quickly released herself from Stevens’ light grasp, leaping back.

“Ya-ya mind warnin’ me next time when ya gonna do _ ‘that’ _!?” she complained as she turned her back from him, clinging onto herself while slightly shaking.

She didn’t like being touched. 

And it’s silly to say so, as she felt completely embarrassed for never admitting to it. After all, she was meant to be a best friend. Someone who’d show affection to their friends through physical contact such as hugging. It was simple even. But things were different now...

It didn’t bother her when he touched her hand, but even that was hard from the beginning. A false sense of comfort was all that she felt. It felt overwhelming. It didn’t feel right. Not even from Steven. Especially not Steven. He wasn't _ her _ after all...

Then, Spinel noticed he hadn’t responded yet. He usually did.

“Steven?” 

She turned around to see that he was now bending over his torso slightly from the heavy pain in his chest.

“Ugh..” he groaned out loud.

“A-are you okay?” Spinel asked with a sense of worry in her voice. 

Oh geez, what had she done this time? She stepped a little closer to him, with her arms reaching out. But she didn’t touch him. Instead, her hands hovered over him, shaking almost. She didn’t want to do any more harm if she touched him.

Steven took notice of this and slowly picked himself up.

“I'm fine, just a couple of bruises (_ more like several) _ nothing to worry about! heh..” He gave another smile. 

His smile began faltering and he looked as if he had almost twitched. Spinel didn’t understand what was going on until she peeked over at where the two were at. Then it made sense. Spinel looked almost saddened by something that suddenly came to mind. 

_ ‘It’s my fault...I knew I shouldn't have come here..’ _

She felt like crying. She didn’t want to be here anymore. She would only mess things up further. She just wanted to tell Steven to take her home. And she wouldn’t deny it if he agreed. Oh, who was she kidding, like he would take her home. She would need to find her way back. This was all too much as-

Spinel nearly jumped as she felt Steven grab hold of her hand. The sudden movement wasn’t a surprise. But, she just wasn’t sure how to react. All she could do was stare, as she was pulled along by Steven.

“Let’s go.” He said.

Spinel grew paranoid as he began leading the two up the hill. Just where was he taking her? She had to learn to trust him completely, but that would only slowly grow if things didn’t go wrong. She would try to be better..

* * *

Steven continued to lead Spinel closer to the top of the hill. She wanted to stop at first. They were getting pretty close to the edge. _ Would he ever? _ She wondered deep into her thoughts if he would purposely look for an opening to catch her off guard, push her off the ledge, and making her fall to crack her gem. Almost like payback from his incident earlier. Surely he wouldn’t. The gem almost felt ashamed to think of such an awful thing. She was becoming too paranoid. If only things at Homeworld weren’t so difficult, otherwise she wouldn’t be here…

_ ‘Well bad news pal, she’s gone! Donezo! Not here anymore! Why doesn’t your simple headed mind understand that by now!!?’ _

Spinel planted her hand on her gem. She could feel herself trembling from the memory suddenly coming to the surface. Her voice being repeated back to her made it almost traumatizing. Another awful memory of yet another one of her breaking point, leading to absolutely nothing but loneliness-

“Ahh~” 

Steven lets out a soft sigh interrupting Spinel’s thoughts. His hand, still attached, gave her a slight squeeze, as if it were a sign. She looked up to see he was stopped in his tracks. Now completely aware, she stopped alongside. They were now near a white barrier. He looked up at the sky as he closed his eyes. Spinel only stared up at Steven as he did so. He looked so happy. And she felt so bad for being here. She didn’t want to ruin anything more, especially from how she reacted earlier. Why was he so nice, and to her of all gems!? She didn’t deserve standing before him and annoying him with her problems. Truly, she didn’t. She just felt no right to do so.

Steven opened his eyes once more while still looking up. The stars were still apparent with the moon at the center of the sky just like he had seen before.

“This is a much better atmosphere, don’t you think...?.” Steven stopped himself from finishing his sentence as he looked over at Spinel. To his dismay, her facial expression was full of sorrow and discomposure, with her eyes looking anywhere but on his own or at the night sky. Steven’s smile disappeared and stayed quiet, trying to come up with another thing to do to break the ice at least.

“Come on, let's sit riiight-” Steven looked ahead of him. 

The head of Obsidian made the Hilltop stand out as the edge. He wasn’t sure if he wanted them to get any closer, recalling the accident with Amethyst breaking her gem from the fall from almost that exact spot.

“There!” He pointed just ahead of him. 

Spinel looked at the area his finger was pointing at. It was right between the stoned part and the grassy remains of the hilltop. It wasn’t too close to the edge, and it seemed promising for a great view. He almost clutched onto her hand, as if telling Spinel they were now moving. She followed along as the two only walked a few feet ahead of them just to stop.

He suddenly lets go of her hand and Spinel almost felt both relief and anguish hitting her at once. But she looked over to see he was still beside her. _ He wasn’t running off._ Instead, he just sat himself down on the ground and lets out a breath of air. She only just stood there, wondering what to do next.

“Spinel you can sit down if you want.,” he said. 

The teen patted his hand on the ground. She was hesitant to accept the offer. Instead, she just sat a few more inches away from the spot he had offered. Then after that, it was silent. Nothing but silence.

Steven reached in his pocket to grab his phone out. At first, Spinel noticed this from the corner of her eye, still cautious even now, but she didn’t take any further action when she realizes the device was no threat. 

Meanwhile, Steven briefly checked his phone to see the time.

12:47 A.M

This was one of the longest nights he had ever willingly stayed up. But he could tell it was hitting him slowly. With all the fiasco that happened earlier, he had more energy to spare and forced himself to stay awake and aware. He puts it up quickly and resembles his stargazing. He glimpsed over to Spinel. She was huddling herself again. He could now see her face in a brighter light. From the side, the black lines on her face curved down to the end of her cheeks. Her eyes still a vibrant magenta... But they were now dull from the first time he had noticed them. She never ceased a smile and her pigtails were now down.

Steven still couldn’t help but admire her. Even if she wasn’t in her best state of mind, something about her spoke out to him. She was truly extraordinary, not in a good or bad way, it was hard for the young adolescent to explain how he felt. He had seen many gems, from rare ones to known ones. She, on the other hand, was completely different from any gem or person he had ever met. Lapis was close enough to someone he couldn’t understand, but he eventually got to her, and the two eventually became friends and allies. 

Spinel, on the other hand, was a tougher gem to crack. Her gem was heart-shaped, which represented love in human language, and maybe in gem language as well. She was just..hard to read, difficult to talk to at times, and even resented him in helping her. He barely knew her, and yet he felt a need to seek out her problems. 

Steven sighed inwardly and looked back up at the sky. Clearly in deep contemplation of his next choice of words to say. Then he saw it. Above all of the stars, there shimmered one so bright, it was just too noticeable for him not to acknowledge. Steven smiled.

“It’s amazing how you can see Homeworld from this distance...” 

This sort of caught her attention, as she slowly raised her head, looking up at the sky. 

For a second he might’ve heard her respond with a “Yea…”

That was a start.

* * *

“I ...used ya warp pad to get here…” Spinel admitted to Steven, who only stared at her in response.

“B-but it was on accident I swear! I..I..” Spinel continued as she paused for a second trying to come up with the next line of words. Her voice was softened and almost hitched as guilt began to rise from her shame of ruining Steven's day...or was it a night...who cares!?

“Go on..its okay Spinel..” Steven reassured her to keep talking. Spinel looked at Steven, her inner self-loathing interrupted by his subtle voice. It felt so calming and....safe. She then looked ahead of her. 

“..I made a horrible mistake..back on Homeworld that is...” She continued but she had paused for another minute or two. She just stared up at the sky, trying her best to not break into tears. Being here on Earth and with Steven, everything was beginning to feel overwhelming.

“Oh geez! I shouldn’t have come hear..” Spinel spurred out before rapidly grabbing onto her pigtails.

“Spinel, it's fine really! I am okay with this... I simply want to know why you came down here. “ Steven said to her promptly, trying to keep his voice down and calm as not to sound too demanding with the onslaught of questions.

“Now...you said you made a mistake..would you mind telling me what you did? Because if it has anything to do with the Diamonds, I can talk to them if you ne-” Steven was then interrupted by Spinel.

“No!..well...yea… but it’s not about them... its..” 

She stopped in mid-sentence. She debated to herself if it was really good to mention one of her many errors to someone who’s already been through enough of her? He tells her it’s fine, yet she still feels bad for bringing her problems to him. But she couldn’t keep lying to him. She already trespassed on his planet. So what more of an inconvenience would she be if she didn’t say anything at all? That's all he wanted. For her to be honest with him. After all, he told her they were.._ friends.. _.and being a friend means being truthful with each other...

“It’s about Pearl..” She admits.

Pretty vague indeed. Steven knew he couldn’t keep giving her question among questions. One at a time. Right now he had to think of which Pearl she might’ve been referring to. Steven thought for a while. Surely it wasn’t their Pearl, was it? She did seem like the type to visit Homeworld from time to time, but did she legitimately visit Spinel? That just seemed too hard to believe. Steven reflected on the other Pearls he knew of. Yellow or Blue Pearl were possible victims, but wouldn’t Blue or Yellow Diamond have told him by now? Unless they didn’t care about them, which wasn't a stretch to imagine being a possibility. After all, they weren’t enslaved by force..well not anymore. Steven shakes his head and pays his focus back on the subject at hand.

Or perhaps it was..

Steven twitched his eye. Of course, she would have talked to her. Why hadn’t he thought about this after all this time? It was obvious that Spinel would’ve met her by now. He couldn’t believe that he tried patching up spots in his memories to forget certain things, and she was one of them. It was such a horrible sin. 

“Pink Pearl…?” Steven said out loud. Spinel looked over to him. He had looked as if he was bewildered from the name itself. She hadn’t seen him like that, which was surprising to her. 

“Yea..Y-you knew her right..?” Spinel asked out of curiosity.

_'Of course, he knows her! why would I ask such a stu-'_

“Of course! Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve last seen..her.” He tried to cover up the shakiness in his voice. It was very hard to talk about her. But Spinel caught onto his voice going all wobbly and strange from Pink Pearl being brought up.

“A-anyways.. What happened with P-Pearl?” He wanted to further investigate the details of what happened between the two, his insecurities and voice cracks not helping. 

Spinel didn’t respond right away. She only stared at Steven before she looked back down at the ground. 

“It’s silly…” she admitted. 

“Silly enough for you to come down here?” Steven said in an almost joking tone.

“Yea…” she admitted. He didn’t expect that answer.

“Spinel...just talk to me...I’m sure I can help you...”

“Heh. How can you 'help me'..?” she asked sarcastically as if he were bluffing in his statement.

“I don’t know.. But if you told me, I can at least try to figure it out... Just what happened between you two?” 

Spinel didn’t respond. She kept quiet, wondering if she should tell him anything more. She felt like it wasn’t important. And he would probably tell her that too.

“I...I said awful things to her.” Spinel said, placing blame on herself.

Steven listened as Spinel admitted to saying some harsh things to Pink Pearl, including what she had said about his mom.

“I...just went off...I yelled at her.. Threw things around… But... I didn’t hurt her.. I would never hurt her... I was just so angry... and I took it out on her…” she answered.

“What brought that out of you...your anger that is?” Steven asked. Spinel looked at Steven and frowned, visibly tensing up a bit.

“She’d talk about...Pink Diamond...it was within reason though..and...I was fine with it at first...”

Spinel began shaking a bit as she was already tense. She even pulled at her pigtails as she continued with stuttering.

“E-every chance I got to be around Pearl. I thought that’s what a friend would do...to be there for them...To listen to them and I did just that for her..and for a while I was happy in doing so..” 

Spinel smiled, only brief, but it was there. 

She could remember the first time she arrived Homeworld with the Diamonds. From the beginning of her new journey, it was challenging. Surely she had the Diamonds to give her the support and comfort she needed, and she gave back in return. She knew how to be a friend after all. But the only problem was that she didn’t know how to make meaningful friendships. And many gems only saw her as a jokester, never anyone else. Even the Diamond's couldn't help her in that.

Then Pink Pearl came to view. They didn't meet immediately, but she was almost always around the palace. When they finally met, it was awkward. But eventually, they came to an understanding of their similarities. She thought they had some sort of connection based on the person that betrayed him. She had learned about Pearls' origin, and how everything came to be. It tarnished her gem to the core, and Spinel promised herself to help support Pearl. She thought that meant something at least. Pearl would talk to her, and Spinel would listen to any and everything she had to say. And for a while, she was okay with that. From juggling and telling jokes...Well, Spinel did those things anyway, and Pink Pearl usually sat and watched, which was more than alright with her.

Spinel's smile soon disappeared, coming back to realization.

“but.. even after everything I did..all she saw was...Pink Diamond.” Spinel sulked at the last word. 

“She never saw me for me..” She felt her voice change from earlier. “ no one did…”

The silence was now marked until Spinel felt herself burst out.

“But why would they!?? hehehe..” 

She felt herself beginning to giggle all of a sudden.

“hehehe..after all..hehe I'm jus’ some random gem that came out of nowhere, now taking over Pink Diamonds stuff..hehe..I just sorta replaced her...” 

Spinel’s gestured her hands as she spoke in a non-serious manner with her eyes twitching. Then she realized what she had just pointed out.

“I-I mean I was never meant to be taken seriously anyway...I'm just some type of replacement of hers...” Spinel’s voice lowered from her sudden outburst. 

Steven almost felt guilty for not thinking too deep into this. He thought The Diamonds could give Spinel exactly what she needed. But, he never had the courage to at least check up on her during the past year since she’s been up there.

“Even after Pink's gone..” Spinel continued. “she’s still left as a reminder for those who she’s left behind...”

Steven almost felt that. He felt himself grip onto his gem while facing the ground from the sudden change of mood. He was taking all of this in, including things he did not expect. His mom was gone, yet her past remained…

Spinel huddled her legs close to her as she looked off into the sky.

"I..I don’t think I've changed...I couldn't help it..going off on her..on you.. After all, she’s told me I only thought of myself…so selfish..” 

Steven looked over to see that tears were falling down her eyes.

“I came here all this way for Star's sake! hoping you’d to help me with this..silly, stupid situation!” She bewailed, with her arms out spiraling in her action of words. 

Then her arms suddenly fell on the grassy ground. The cold breeze a soft shutter from Steven as he palmed his hands close to him.

“Can I be honest with you...Steven?” Spinel asked. “....I miss her.. Pink....” she confessed. 

Steven looked over to see tears running down her face as she stares at the sky, never taking a peek over at him. 

“I think about her a lot...I mean I'm around her things..and she's all everyone would talk about....” 

Spinel’s voice was shaking. The sorrowful form of whimpers came from her high-pitched voice.

“I wish she was still here...” She almost whispered, as if it was a confession to not admit up to.

“I was never made to change Steven....I’m just...stuck in the past.." Spinel admitted. She began weeping silently for a while, bringing her limbs closer to herself. 

Steven’s face had a weary look as he stared at the pink gem, breaking down. He bit his lip trying to figure out what to say next. It was a lot to take in. She was hurt still, she was pouring out self-hate in herself again she felt as if she hadn’t changed, and she has no idea what to do next. Pink Pearl is back in the picture...And he was her last resort? And most importantly, his mom takes part in this, even if she wasn’t here. Steven sighed. Right now it was best for her sprew out her feelings. Crying was essential.

Then it was quiet, and her whimpering and weeps were now soundless. Steven knew it was now or never. And he could not mess it up this time.

"Spinel…..you're not a replacement...nor are you selfish.” He stated. 

Spinel didn’t respond to this. Instead, she buried her head in her arms further. Steven began scooting himself over close enough to her. He was hesitant but puts his hand on her padded shoulder. This sudden touch made her flinch slightly. Spinel picks her head up to look over at Steven. He was smiling, and it almost felt enduring. She didn’t move from her spot either.

"You may not see it.. but you’ve changed." Steven continued.

“How do you know..?” She asked, suddenly, in a breathless tone. 

“Well first and foremost.. You are allowing me to listen to you and your problems...no fighting’s involved...We’re just talking like regular gems! And for me, that is phase one of many more to come. This is a good way to start Spinel.” Steven said.

He stared deep into her eyes while his smile diminished into a more serious look.

“No matter how small it is..." he almost whispered.

Spinel grew flustered from this, but soon after her eyes diminished in a narrow stare, pushing his arm away from her shoulder. She moved herself a few inches away from him.

“How can you even say that? I still left a bad note on my part... Even if I didn’t use hurt anyone..” she protested against herself. It was true on her part., at least she thought so.

“it wasn’t your fault entirely to feel the way you did..” Steven countered back as if defending her from herself. Spinel opened her mouth once again, but nothing came out. She couldn’t say anything this time. Instead, she only listened.

“As I’ve said before, I've met Pink Pearl..” 

Steven paused and bit down on his lip, thinking of what to say. He had to be honest with her. She was spouting out everything on the table. Now he somewhat understood everything.

“I'm sure she’s told you about me attempting to...um…” he swallowed heavily. 

This was hard for him too, and Spinel was probably catching on.

“Heal her..?” Spinel finished his sentence. 

Steven felt his stomach almost from her answer. _ Of course, _ she would’ve known about that. Pink Pearl might have told her everything, alright...Now he felt part of this. Steven began scratching the back of his head. He couldn’t bring himself to stare at Spinel at the moment.

“Y-yea..that,” he admitted. “And things didn’t turn out the way I had hoped…” 

Spinel knew what he meant. She looked down at the ground from the sudden memory of their talk. Steven looked up to see Spinel almost trembling. But it was more of a reaction from what he said.

_ Both of them felt that. _

“I have my guilt for not being able to do something for someone..or realizing I had no other choice…” Steven shuttered in the last part. 

He could think of the many mistakes he’s made that almost sabotaged everything and the source of all this pain and misery in his life was, of course, his mother. But there were many errors he made from his gullibleness and naivety. Steven let out a small sigh, things were so much simpler to his younger self than they were now...but he wouldn't turn his back on his friends...even if they did try to kill him at first.

"Spinel.. you may not know it.. but my mom..Pink Diamond..I never had a chance to even meet her, yet I've been told to be like her almost all my life..” he said. “and I thought that was my purpose, to fulfill my mother's legacy.”

“Heh, I even thought of dying my hair pink.” Steven countered in a small confession putting his arm behind his head out of an embarrassing truth..

Spinel didn’t react though. She only sat there, looking at Steven and taking everything he was saying. Now wasn’t the time for jokes. He should’ve known better.

“but...I didn’t know everything obviously...my dreams of thinking my mom was this super cool good-hearted hero...that was all shattered, only 4 years ago.” Steven frowned from the sudden memories hitting him.

“Which sounds small to you I know... and I know I could never atone for 6000 years.. but you need to understand almost all my life I was told a lie..” He spewed out the last bit of words with a slight whimper.

It was still too hard to take in. Even from the ones he thought he trusted the most, he had never given him any truth until it was almost too late. On too many occasions.

“So in a way.” He said.

The adolescent teen reached for her unopened hand. "I understand you.." Spinel was surprised by that. He understood her..? 

Steven then proceeded, "Listen... I wanted to tell you this much for a while..but I wanted to apologize for the way I treated you that day...” He continued.

“You were in grief from what my mom did... and I just didn't pay full attention..until it was almost too late...I’ve should've known better..." Steven’s face grew saddened as he stared at the pink gem. He almost visioned the look just from looking at her.

Spinel only stared at him, bewildered by his sudden, unexpected statement. What was he talking about!? And why was he apologizing to her? She was the one who invaded the Earth, trying to pump it full of poison and kill everyone on it. It was her fault..so why...why was he still being so sincere?

“B-b-but I.. I don't deserve an apology..." she stuttered through her words while she looked away from Steven's eyes. But the palm of her hand still clung onto his hand. 

“I trespassed hear to talk to you about this stupid situation..it’s not even worth talking about-”

“Spinel, please stop calling your situation ‘stupid’ because it's not!” Steven felt himself yell.

Spinel was caught off guard from Steven's sudden outburst. She turned her head back to him. He didn’t sound angry but his voice held more sternness to it.

“I get it if you don’t see it that way, but I see someone who needs support in making friends..and I was wrong in thinking all you needed were the Diamonds..I should’ve thought of the other possible outcomes..but I don't have a future vision like Garnet.,” he stated. 

He clearly holding back his mounting frustration and was just tired of seeing her trying to find another reason for him to not help her. This was denial at its finest and Spinel did not deserve to be the way she was currently. Steven sighed, repressing his voice and frustrations.

"And you do deserve an apology, Spinel." 

Steven moved in front of her, still at eye level. He brings one of his hands and infused it with hers', close between the two of them. He then took her pinky gloved finger onto his own. Spinel was taken aback by this strange action from him as he moved her fingers around so calmly. She glanced over at his hand in action..what was he planning?

"How about this... let's make a pinky promise." He said as he stared back at her.

“Pinky promise…?” Spinel asked, clearly confused by the words. Earth and their many strange customs were still foreign to her language.

Steven wondered why she stared at him like that. Oh, of course, she didn't understand what a pinky promise meant or even was. It was pretty obvious by the fact she only showed up to Earth a year ago..and she doesn’t remember those moments during which she was reset. Steven sighed, pushing himself out of his thoughts. 

“Well um, it’s basically like some sort of pledge you make with someone..” He explained to her. 

Spinel thought about it for a while trying to reminisce it in her gem language, something he had had to learn about gems. They couldn't comprehend Earth Lingo exactly well. But even from someone like her, he was still surprised she wouldn’t understand fully.

“Like an order…?”

“Yea like--N-no!! Nothing like that!” He caught himself quickly, not realizing what she had just said, but comprehending at the last second.

“It’s like a promise between two friends only. A word of honor that you can never break.” Steven described it more literally. 

Spinel only stared, not even a peep coming out of her mouth. She seemed to somewhat understand what he meant.

“And my promise to you, is from now on, I’ll support you in whatever decision you make...as long as it is for the better.” he continued.

“You can talk to me whenever you are feeling down. I will always be willing to be there for you, listen to whatever you have to say, talk to you, show you places. Anything it takes to make you feel better...That’s my word of honor.” He said vibrantly as he clutched hard onto her thumb. 

Steven knew Spinel seemed to understand him better as her face began turning a dark shade of red out of embarrassment, while her face grew from sadness. He was almost repeating the same words she had said earlier.

“But.. in return…” Steven stared into her eyes. 

His tone of voice had noticeably changed. Spinel could have sworn his eyes were no longer black. They looked almost pink from her point of view. And his pupils were..Diamond-shaped... She was almost transfixed by this sudden change of look in his eyes. 

“I want you to promise me that you will find yourself.” He said in almost a quiet manner. Spinel’s eyes looked confused from his sudden request.

“ya want me to.. find myself..?” She retorted his statement. 

“Yea.. you know, like understanding-”

“Yea I know what you mean...But…” Spinel’s face fell down to the ground “I'm already off to a bad start...” 

“Well, that’s where I come into play...I told you I’ll support you..” Steven answered her.

Spinel looked up at Steven and wondered to herself. Could she do it? Steven was willing to help her in hopes to find herself..that wouldn't be too hard, right? 

“But how would I even know where to start? I don’t know even know what else I’m good at other than what I’m made for...” she wondered.

“Spinel.. It takes time and right now, we can start by you reopening your friendship with Pearl. I know she must mean a lot to you for you to come down all the way down here to earth..and I’ll help you with that... But that is entirely up to you..” Steven said in that same assertive tone.

Spinel was quiet as her pupils wondered elsewhere, thinking of everything he said to her. She had no idea just how far this would’ve gone and she wouldn't complain in the slightest. Steven was willing to help her. He was willing to be her friend again. And most of all, he and she now had something personal to hold onto.

“I..promise..” She finally said. Steven smiled, as the two parted fingers. Steven picked himself off the ground as he patted himself.

“Good! Well now that we got that-”

“Steven..?” Steven hushed up and looked back at Spinel in front of him. She was still laying on the ground with her head down still.

“What's up?” Steven asked.

“Could I.. request something on our pinky promise...?” Spinels’ voice was low, but Steven could still hear it. 

“What is it?” Steven asked nervously.

Spinel doesn’t respond as she continued staring down.

“Can I....call you..my Diamond..?”

….....WHAT THE-

“....WHAT?” Steven suddenly spewed out loud. What indeed. Spinel looked up at Steven and grew more nervous from his reaction alone. He looked perplexed from her sudden request.

“Spin-Spinel I don't think that's a good idea..” it wasn't at all. He was Steven. Not his mom. Didn’t they just go over that? But his gem belonged to his mother at one point. So it was technically his name in a gem status. But he did not identify as that.

“I get it...Just thought I’d ask still..” she muttered. She had her head down in embarrassment. She knew it was a bad call to even consider that idea to him. There she went, being selfish again...

Steven noticed the way she had so quickly given up, and deep down he felt really bad. It wasn’t that huge of a request anyway. He couldn't deny to sometimes liking the idea of being called a Diamond, it's just that he wasn’t too influenced by power. Just by him being true to himself.

Just as Spinel began to pick herself up, Steven halted her.

“Fine...” he finally said. Spinel looked up at Steven standing before her. His face was now calm like before, as he had his eyes closed, before opening them back up.

“BUT! Only if it helps you..so not all the time... And..” Steven’s cheeks flushed from the thought of even playing along with this. “We can’t say it in front of others…just between the two of us...deal?” He crouched down at her level once again, and he put out his pinky finger in front of her. Spinel was almost taken aback but knew what to do now. She put her previous finger back onto his.

“Deal...” She answered. After their thumb tug, Steven proceeded to move the rest of his free fingers on to Spinels gloved hand, helping her off the ground. She took the offer with no complaints. This was getting to a better start already...

“Now...let’s get you home, I'm sure the Diamonds are probably worried sick about your whereabouts..” 

“You’re taking me back..?” She asked.

“Well, yea...” Steven responded.

“Oh..” 

Steven sighed. He really just needed to sleep so he could focus because he was starting to decline slowly but surely. 

“Spinel..as much as I would love to let you spend the night here, I can’t do that at the moment...it’ll be too much to explain to the other gems, who practically barge into my room without permission. Plus word gets out pretty fast.” Steven jokes but even now he was still serious. He had to ease Spinel onto everyone else. Things would be more awkward than their previous reunion.

Spinel nodded in response, understanding Steven's seasoning, even she wasn't sure of meeting the other gems this soon...it still felt like they viewed her as a threat.

“I understand...I get it..” She reassured him. Steven looked at Spinel. She really needed support as soon as possible. Then something came to his mind. 

“Tell you what... tomorrow, I'll come to Homeworld and visit you!” he said in an excited tone. Spinel stared up at Steven, who was full of sudden bursts of energy. 

“Yea! We’ll start right away and get things going. Summer is around the corner so there will be plenty of things we can do here as well. I can sorta reintroduce you to Earth, like a tour maybe. ”

Spinel took notice of his eyes, glimmering. He looked so genuinely happy.

“Yea…I'd like that.” She agreed to whatever he was spouting about. Steven’s smile grew wider from her agreement. Spinel nearly felt her face warming up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I promise I will make the story run faster. I'm STILL stuck on night 1 for peeks sake... But it will get better so I hope you guys stick with this one! :)


	4. Update!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skip Ahead to Chapter 5, which is essentially Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not a chapter for the story. Just an update and explanation on myself. I hope you guys take the time to read this and continue the support for the future chapters to come!

First and foremost,

I sincerely apologize for never keeping you guys updated about any upcoming chapters or my schedule. As of the past two months, I have been under a lot of stress from school, work, and just life in general. So I've just been very much distracted and obscure about myself. Things have just been...hard for me. But that's never an excuse to tell you guys about it over a month ago. All because I really thought I would be able to produce what I want in the timing that I give myself. So again I am truly sorry for that. 

With that being said, 

I have not given up on this story. In fact, I had plans for it way back in September. And I do plan to write it all out. Now that I have more time in my hands and that I have less stress and that I am in a better spot in my life at the moment, I plan to focus on this story. Chapter 4 is basically done for the most part, but I just need to tweak it up a little bit. I promised someone that I will have it done before the end of the month and unfortunately, I have not come through with that promise. But it will be out soon. I will make up for this! Although I can't promise a date, I will promise it will be earlier than expected <3 .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 for CFTW is on my top list. This story, in general, is on my top tier list. Please understand that :D


	5. Nocturnal Insomnia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, here it is! It's been a while but here it is! Please enjoy it! I really loved writing this chapter... BUT! This chapter isn't in the best shape, so do expect this chapter including 2 and 3 to be reedited.
> 
> Again it's slow still, but this chapter was supposed to be out a couple of months ago so therefore that's my excuse. But it will process faster in the long-run.
> 
> Annnnnd, to end on this note, I watched the SUF episodes, and I made a few changes such as his dome having a greenhouse, Homeworld's school, a few plot points, etc. But for the most part, it is obviously an AU in the canon world.

Steven twisted the knob, opening the door halfway. He peeked his head in first. It was dark with no sign of anything being out of place. But that didn't exactly mean they were. They had to be quick by getting Spinel off Earth without anyone spotting them. Simple right?

"It's clear," He said quietly.

Behind him came the pink gloved-hands of his friend clutching his arm. The quiet ambience of Steven's house made it hard to believe that it was the same one. But it was, and deep within her core held memories that never went away. Those included the times when gems and humans drew their weapons against her. Fortunately, Steven was there to defend her.

'Not like anyone else would've understood...'She shuddered at the thought.

He closed the front door behind them, and started up the stairs… that was until he felt his arm being weighed back, forcing him to turn back, only to find Spinel standing in place, her arms extended as they clutched Steven's sleeve. He saw Spinel look up in terror, before he turned back, ready for a fight. Yet, he didn't see anything that could possibly scare her.

"Hey... you okay?" he asked, as he turned back to face the gem. Spinel's pupils spiraled for a few seconds before she realized Steven was staring at her.

"Y-yeah." she stuttered as she quickly looked away from him, and stared down at the step she was on.

Steven bit his lip, debating if he should further on the question. She didn't look okay, and it seemed as if she were stuck in place.

"You sure?" He asked again.

"I said I'm fine!" She snapped, her arm still wrapped tightly around his jacket.

The teen felt himself jump from her sudden outburst. 

‘Did not see that coming.’ he almost believed. But knowing her and the situation, it wouldn’t surprise him if it happened again.

With that, Steven stepped down to just one step above her, before he placed his hands on her shoulders. Instantly, Spinel opened her eyes once more, unsure of how to respond. He was one step right above her.

He moved one of his hands close to his mouth, motioning for her to stay quiet. Her eyes widened from the sudden realization, before they lazily shrunk into lifeless pupils.

"Sorry." She said quietly.

In a way, Steven was relieved that she got the idea without explanation, but couldn't help, but regret how it was done. He knew he didn't have to grab her like that. He should know better than to invade someone's personal space. But she didn't seem to recoil from him. And so, he released her shoulders, and softly held one of her hands, with little response from her. At least, she was slowly trusting him.

Guilt still lingered in. He had to fix this soon. She wasn't brash like Jasper, nor was she cold like Lapis. She was almost a mixture of both from everything that happened. And from everything that's happened between the two so far, she needed someone who understood her. That is, if she was willing to let him do so in the first place.

'She's gonna be a handful...' Steven thought.

There was no sound coming from the temple, so that probably meant they didn't hear her. So that's a plus at least.

Looking up the stairs, it was still empty, [but the frame of him and the others became more apparent in his point of view. For some reason, he envisioned Spinel being part of the picture.

'I wonder how things would've been different if mom chose to-' Steven stopped in the middle of his thought. He frowned at the sudden guilt trip hitting him.

'Stop doing this to yourself.' He had to tell himself that consistently.

The two slowly walk up the narrow stairs. Finally reaching his room, the door was already opened, just as he had left it. He entered, along with Spinel. It all looked the same as usual. And most certainly, it didn't look like the gems came up here either. He was glad Pearl had stopped snooping in his room in the middle of the night. The more he thought about it, the more awkward he felt. She was surely infatuated by his mom, but going to this extent was too far for his liking. He still saw her as another mother figure regardless of her bizarre habits though. She was an alien after all.

Suddenly, Steven felt a cold breeze. A chill filled the room, causing his eyes to go wide as he turned to the source… his balcony.

"How did that..?" He almost asked, noticing his patio door was left wide-open.

Adrenaline rushed through his body, as a cold chill spiraled through him, as to thinking someone might be out there. The only thing he was waiting for was someone to call out his name.

'Please don't be Pearl or Garnet, please don't be Pearl or Garnet… Or Amethyst for that matter… oh gosh, please don't be Amethyst-'

"I told you I came from your warp pad, remember?" Spinel quietly spoke up. 

Steven looked over to the gem, taking a moment to realize what she was saying. Instantly, a wave of relief overtook him. 

"Oh.”

He knew getting mad about something this small wouldn't solve anything. Not like it was as bad as the time he had to deal with Sapphire's cold temper at the motel. But still, it was way out of his comfort zone. Just what he needed from this stressful night.

After that, the two walked out onto his balcony, with Steven still holding onto Spinel's hand. As the shuttle opened, they both stepped in.

There stood his greenhouse surrounding the room. He had almost forgotten about the plants he left. Not like he took care of them, but there were memories that slowly surfaced. All of the things he wanted to leave behind all stemming from a main source, a main problem, right here. And who else could he blame but himself? He knew repressing those thoughts in this place would do him no good. That was probably why he barely came up here. But letting them die was the last thing he wanted to happen.

'Ugh what are you doing?' he asked himself. It wasn't about him right now.

He looked over at Spinel who, to his surprise, seemed very intrigued at the sight. 

"So... you have a… garden?" She arched her eyebrows at the last word. Garden. A question he was not expecting from her. Not in the slightest.

Did it not bother her… like it once bothered him?

"Ohhh yea! Though I prefer to call it a greenhouse rather than a... garden." He cleared his throat before continuing on. 

"I just had a lot of time on my hands. That's how it gets then there's nothing important to do. Ya know, the Earth is peaceful and all." 

The words seemed to bunch together, all the while scratching the back of his hair from the sudden anxiety hitting him. He knew she didn't ask why but he didn't know if she'd even ask in the first place. Yet, he couldn't help, but feel almost defensive in his reasoning. And that was not a good sign to put off.

She didn't respond. Instead, she looked around admiring what was in front of her. Steven forced himself to not look at her as he tried not to give any obvious signs of him not being his usual self. He didn't want to worry her after all . Right now, he wanted to focus on her.

"I guess it must've caught you by surprise when you came here," He assumed, still scratching the back of his head.

"You can say that..." She responded, still gazing around. Steven watched as her eyes wandered around, jumping from plant to plant. She almost had an astounded look on her face as she held her gloved hands over her gemstone.

Just what was she seeing? Could she see what he once saw? Surely not. He looked around. He certainly did not want to let this be the basis for their future amity... Not here.

"I'm sorry if this bothers you... I just… I wasn't expecting to come here all of a sudden-"

"No! It-it's fine! It just caught me by surprise… I didn't know it was your thing...heh…" She admitted, embarrassment filling her face and voice.

'Hm, maybe we could explore that later on.' Steven thought.

"Well, honestly it's more like a hobby I got into after I stepped down from Little Homeschool so I'm still sorta new to this thing..." he rambled.

"Little Homeschool?" she repeated, as if trying to change the subject.

He stared at the gem with delight in his eyes. He realized he never even told Spinel about this program. Not like he had the chance to explain it to her.

"Oh, yea! It's like a school for gems who want to understand more about Earth."

"Oh...cool." she replied in a more apathetic tone. 

Steven sighed. Perhaps he usually got more excited than the gems themselves that he informs about it.

"Well, let's go," Steven said with a downcast voice. Usually he was the one who had an enthusiastic tone, but things were changing...

Spinel, looked back up at him in confusion.

"Wait, you're coming with me? W-what if the Diamonds see-"

"It's fine! I told you I'll take you home right? Plus I'll be your excuse if they end up seeing us..." Steven responded.

Spinel's gaze held for a moment, allowing Steven to see the sadness in her eyes, before she stared back at the surface, her hand still in contact with his.

"Yea…" she responded. The two stood on top of the pad. And with that, they warped their way in a shimmer of light upon space.

\------

A glimmer of light shined through the dark skies, as it led to the warp pad located in the Throne room. Spinel quickly slinged onto Steven's arm, scared from the new setting, while Steven's eyes squinted from the sudden change of lighting. The room was brighter than what he remembered. He tried looking around, his eyes slowly adjusting. But he didn't hear a single gem in sight. The Diamonds must also be in their quarters. Well at least that's what he wanted to believe. No telling where anybody was at that time. It was night time on Homeworld after all. Meanwhile, Spinel's head jumped everywhere, from the thrones to the large opening, and even at the rooftop.

Steven sighed, before a loud yawn came out of him. He had to get her home as soon as possible. He was reaching his limit.

"Aren't we lucky? Nobody's even here." he said almost sluggishly. Steven grabbed the gem's hand. This was becoming a habit for him.

"I actually know a way back to moms- I mean your room. It-it's pretty quick too!" He tried backtracking his words from almost mistaking Spinel for his mom's belongings.

"Lets go," He said, leading the gem down a familiar hallway.

The walk this time felt hasty, but Steven knew there was a long way to go, no matter how short of a cut this was. Homeworld was much larger than the Earth, and he still had yet to explore this part he wanted to call another home.

Spinel recognized this way. It was the same way Pearl took her. She felt herself tense up a little from the memories. They usually walked this way to her room, while talking about their past time with Pink Diamond. But they had barely talked about the negative impact she brought to themselves as individuals. Even when she wanted to reopen those wounds, Pearl would just change the subject. She'd even gone as far as to make Spinel look like the bad person for bringing up the bad things left in the past. A shiver went through her gem from the sheer pain in her voice from that same day.

"Steven..?" Spinel's voice peeked up.

Steven looked over to see Spinel. Her arms crossed as she stared at the ground.

"What's up?" He responded.

"I...I hope I didn't offend you earlier…" she said quietly.

Steven arched an eyebrow, confused as to what she meant..

"What do you mean?"

"Umm...my silly, stupid- I mean-my...request. T-to call you a Diamond and all." she simply replied.

Oh that. Now that it was on the table, it felt more wrong than he thought.

Steven sighed. Surely he almost loathed the idea of anyone calling him their mother. For as long as he could remember, most gems only saw her and not him. Never him. But Spinel? it was not like she was doing any harm. She wasn't even referring him to his mother. Just his rank as an authority figure. That was it.

"Spinel, it's fine really. I'd rather be called a Diamond than my mom. And honestly, you're the first gem to even ask for permission..." he retorted.

Not that he cared about the rule of an authority figure, but the idea of being called a Diamond was something that stayed in the back of his head.

'Diamond Steven Universe... kind of a nice ring to it.' he thought.

If anything, he was trying to normalize it for future reference. But it wasn't like she was going to say it in front of anyone else, would she? They made a promise after all. In the end, it was all up to her.

"Heh... I guess I'm the first huh..?" She asked.

Steven started at Spinel. She wasn't looking his way, but he noticed a half-lidded smirk on her face. He smiled in amusement. Being able to get some type of reaction from her has been pretty hard, even if the situation at hand was meant to be taken seriously. That was true for the most part. She was the first gem to ask him for permission. Ever.

"Yea, you actually are," He answered.

Spinel looked over to him. She felt her face grew warm from the same expression he always made. Just what made him so cheery? It wasn't annoying, but it almost reminded her of her old self. That annoying stupid litter pester like-

"So… how are the pebbles?" he asked.

Now that she wasn't so flustered, or at least he hoped, maybe he could delve deep into her personal life with the time they had. He didn't have to be so quick with her yet.

"Oh, my Stars! How could I forget about my little pebs!" Spinel spewed out.

"Heh! Is that a nickname for them?" he asked.

"Umm yea... look we're almost here too!" She pointed forward, before running down the hall leading to her room. Steven stood confused from the quick change of pace. He looked around his surroundings. The hallway looked more familiar.

Well, she was right. 

"I'm home!" he heard her say cheerfully.

Steven could hear giggles from the pebbles as well as Spinel around the wide rounded corner, where her room was. Then it was quiet as the shuttles closed. 

She sounded innocent. Too innocent. 

Steven frowned. Well, at least she had something that made her happy. He followed the noise leading to her room.

Once he entered his once old temporary room, he was taken aback to see the room was redesigned ultimately.

Pedestals stood on each corner of the six ends, with artificial vine-like plants that twirled to the top, and laid colorful flowers on top of green small bushes. There were red Spider lilies lying beside the pedestals. The floor was made to look like thick coats of grass. The ceiling on up looked the same from how he left it, but Steven wouldn't have noticed if he didn't stare up. He was too focused on the layout of the room without noticing the gem is on the floor giggling with the pebbles on top of her. He was in awestruck.

It was like a Garden.

'Just how did they pull all of this off?' He thought.

"Spinel… your room is… beautiful…" Steven spoke in a breathless tone.

Spinel, still on the floor with the pebbles, looked up at Steven. His eyes told her everything.

"Isn't it? Well, you have these guys to thank!" she cheered.

The pebbles surrounding her began pummeling Spinel in a playful manner and Steven couldn't help, but chuckle at the sight. 

"Hey guys long time, no see!" He said cheerfully.

The pebbles looked over Stevens' way, before all running over to him happily and hugging his shoes. Before long, they began crawling on him.

"Heheh! you guuuys! I take it Spinel's been taking good care of you?" They all nodded happily, most cheering 'yes'. He felt one of the pebbles go into his jacket pocket, grabbing his phone like they usually did.

"Why of course, Universe who else would?" She said defensively, while watching Steven get attacked from the pebbles way of showing love with a smile.

After their warm welcome back to Spinels' room, everything had calmed down. Steven and Spinel sat down on the thick coats of grass. They both looked out at the opened patio of her room. For Spinel, this was home, but for Steven, this was nostalgia hitting him during the times when things were more difficult.

"I never got a chance to, thank you for everything you've done for me." she said quietly as she looked over at Steven, who was looking back.

At first, he was confused about what she was thanking him for until he thought about it.

"Oh! Don't worry about it! I just try to help whenever I can. It's just in my nature, ya know."

"I see." she mumbled, looking the opposite direction.

Awkward silence filled the room after that. Steven knew he had a time limit, but he just couldn't leave on this note. She seemed to be holding something back. They stared out at the same outskirts. White Diamond's ship stared right back at their home. It felt as if his privacy was never secure all those years ago. He hoped this didn't happen to Spinel too.

"So do you like seeing it like this?" Steven spoke up

Spinel looked over at Steven for a moment, before looking to her surroundings.

"Well, they do bring back memories, seeing the same type of things back in Pink's garden. But, they sorta calm me down at the same time. It's a different kinda feeling from anger or rage…" she paused, the gem felt herself biting the inside of her lip.

"It doesn't make any sense, I know…" she said.

"No, I think I get what you're saying." Steven replied. Spinel looked next at him. He stared back. She found herself smiling before looking back ahead of her.

So that's probably why she didn't seem so bothered by his 'gardening'. Maybe he was jumping to conclusions, but she seemed to find her speaking in a calming way than he imagined. But her feelings towards Pink Pearl was another thing in mind, including her self-image on herself.

"Too bad I can't just stay here forever." She mumbled.

Steven frowned from her comment. Surely she did not mean that. That was never a good sign.

"Don't say that. It's never good to keep yourself away from everyone...else." Steven felt himself shudder from his own comment

"Who said that I'll be alone when I have those guys to keep me company?" she retorted as she looked down around to see the pebbles laying out, resting just as she and Steven were.

A group of pebbles gathered close to his phone, taking photos. Steven stared at the scene. He knew the pebbles were her friends sure, but this isn't the way it should be. Never.

"I'm not saying you'll be alone, but…there's just so much more out there to explore! You could make so many other friends-"

"Well I tried that befriending part with Pip and that didn't seem to work out now did it?!" she interrupted.

Steven watched her body as her temper burst forth. Her face expressed distress as she stared hard at the ground.

"Pip?" he asked, as if trying to brighten the mood a little.

Spinel suddenly realized what she had said and Steven watched as her face turned completely red.

"Umm w-well yea that's what I called her for short sometimes." she retorted.

Steven wanted to let out a snickering laugh, but he knew this wasn’t the time for it. Then he watched before his own eyes, as the gem began to crack down.

'And I thought my nicknames were bad.' He thought.

Spinel began biting at her lip again, wondering if this was a bad idea. Bringing Steven to her room. She was already anxious to leave Earth and this was the result. Perhaps it was just her nerves.

"Spinel, remember our promise from earlier? You told me you would at least try. Starting now," He said.

"I know... I just have doubts." She mumbled.

He looked at the gem. It felt like they were on top of that hill all over again. Same expression, different setting. Steven sighed.

"I understand how you feel. Meeting new people can be, well, hard. When I first met Connie, I didn't know what to say to her, so all I did was try to impress her, which didn't end well. But in the end, we became friends as a result of that... disaster."

"Who's Connie?"

"Oh! Well I guess I never properly introduced you guys after… last year." he said.

Spinel felt her eye twitch at the mere thought of it. Steven knew he couldn't bring up the past in this manner. This was still a new turning point for him.

"She's a very close friend of mine. I've known her since I was like 13. I can show you a picture of her!" he explained.

Spinel looked up after what he said. Something about showing her things must have peaked her interest. Realizing his phone wasn't in his pocket, Steven looked over at the pebbles.

"Hey guys, you mind if I could get my phone back?" he asked, while getting up from his spot.

He walked over to their area, while they looked up happily giving his phone back. Spinel started his way.

"Look at the pictures we took Steven!" they cheered.

Steven chuckled, and took hold of his phone, with the photo gallery still opened up. Before he could check out the photos, he first noticed the time.

1:02 A.M

'Dammit.'

"Oh wow! Nice photos, you guys are becoming quite the professionals!" he quickly said.

For some reason the realization of the time made him start feeling the weight of his eyes from exhaustion. After everything wined down, it seemed like it was all hitting him at once.

"Um, you okay?" Spinel looked at him in confusion and concern.

"Y-yea! Just give me one sec," He did his best to put on a bright smile.

Steven knew he had to be quick. He would show her a picture of Connie… and then leave without her feeling like she did something wrong. He was exhausted at this point, but that didn't matter. He walked back to her side, sat down and brought the phone into view.

"Here's one of us from earlier today, we decided to go on a road trip and venture outside of our comfort zone. It doesn't sound too exciting, but It was fun altogether."

Steven proceeded to show the gem a few more gems of the things he took pictures of, and she stared in awe. He explained about how they travelled and to where... along with the troubles that followed. 

"Hopefully I'll be able to take you to the same spots so you can see it for yourself!" He went. Spinel stared at the photos and smiled at the thought.

"Fun." She stared into his phone.

"Oh yea. Fun." he said with a smile. The more he stared at the photos, the heavier his eyes felt.

"Well then I should get going, now that I got you home and stuff.”

"Oh right...thanks for walking me here." She said slowly, while the change of her attitude became apparent.

"Hey, I told you I would come and visit you tomorrow, right? It'll be like I never left I promise." Steven assured.

"But it is tomorrow." she mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing, I understand." she said.

Steven raised an eyebrow. She always seemed to have her head down. He definitely needed to bring her confidence back up.

"Hmm." He put his hand on his chin, giving a thought gesture. He needed to come up with something to reassure her that he wasn't lying. That's when an idea came to him.

"How about this." Steven brought out his cellphone again. He took the time to unlock, go to settings, and his clock options.

Spinel looked at the phone curiously again. She knew a thing or two when it came to gem technology, but this was something beyond her rocker. She watched as his fingers dwindled around the screen displaying what felt like gibberish to her.

"So I will set an alarm for 1:30 PM meaning that would be like..." Steven counted with his fingers. "12 hours from now!" 

"12 hours?" She was beyond confused.

"Yea! Give me 12 hours from this exact time and then I will be right at your doorstep," He said confidently, while giving her a soft smile. "I promise it will be worth the wait."

Spinel looked at him and thought about it again. "Okay."

"Cool! Well," He looked down at the grassy floors, wondering how to leave on this note. He wasn't sure where to go from here. Should he shake her hand? Hug her?

That was way too soon, right?

Not like it was nothing more than a friendly one… Then he remembered their promise. Steven took hold of the same hand he had from earlier, grabbing the same pinky gloved finger and attaching it onto his.

"I'll see you later Spinel," He said quietly.

He was looking right at her. Spinel noticed that same height difference from earlier. He was taller than her.

Steven slowly let go, jumped off the ledge, and walked over to the pebbles to say his goodbyes, and promised to see them as well. The automatic shuttle opened, allowing him to leave, with the doors to shut back.

Spinel sat on the ledge while looking at the ground for a couple of minutes before she picks herself up and ran over to the door. She exited as well to see if she could see Steven. Nope. He was already gone.

"See ya later, Steven…" 12 hours was all she could think about.

\------

Steven began speed walking down the hallway of Pink Diamond's headquarters until he could no longer see the door behind him. Then he stopped to catch his breath. After everything that's happened tonight, he sure had a lot to think about. It was back to reality for him once again. "Ugh,what am I gonna do now?"

He told Spinel he could help her, but how far was he willing to go? Pep talks aren't always the solution, but that's all he's known for. This was making him even more tired. He just needed to sleep. He couldn't think straight. 

As he wandered down the long hallway, he could feel more and more darkness overtaking him. His eyes began to slowly fall…

Suddenly, Steven heard voices coming from the corner of where he was headed, bolting his eyes open.

Odd.

He and Spinel didn't see anyone here in the halls earlier. Who knew how quickly these gems acted? He wondered if they noticed both him and Spinel, or was it more coincidental for them.

Just as he reached the corner, he spotted several gems surrounding the outer layer of the hall. Steven began to slowly walk towards the center, presenting himself, though they did not pay attention to him. For some reason, he was more than ever surprised to see that these gems looked all too familiar with the gemstones but their faces were shadowy.

"Umm. hey everyone…" He said presently.

He wasn't the type to leave unnoticed. But they didn't even seem to bother him.

Up until now...

The noise that came from the talking gems suddenly stopped, before they all turned to face him. 

"Oooh umm don't mind me! Just walking through… You guys keep doing what you're doing! Sorry!" He explained as he made his way through.

The gems don't respond. All they did was stare.

As Steven walked a little further down the fall, he glanced to check if the gems were still staring at him. This sent a chill down his spine. He felt as if he had to keep his eyes on them to make sure they weren't following him.

They weren't. But the more he stared, he began to noticing,

A Peridot, a Lapis, and a Bismuth? Then there was a...Pearl? One Ruby guiard, right next to a Sapphire and an Amethyst.

“What’s going on?” 

Steven continued to glance back. It wasn’t bizarre, but almost too too coincidental. There were many duplicate gems that almost looked the same. But for him to notice those exact gems bewildered him. He couldn't tell their exact expressions because of how far he was at this point. But, he recognized them nonetheless. 

Before realizing it, he felt himself bump hard into a gem from his brisk steps. He back from the hard impact, almost falling on the back of his knees, but balanced himself just in time.

"Oh I'm so sorry! I didn...I..."

Steven looked at the person's back. Their pattern, hair, and color of her clothing. It looked like…

"You…" He whispered.

He took a few more steps and passed Pink Pearl. She didn't seem to notice him. Not yet.

"Hey… I'm sorry, I...didn't see you there." he said quietly.

Steven quickly turned around to check that no one was behind him, before he looked back in front to see no reaction from the gem yet. She still had her back turned from him. But he could hear small weeps from her.

"Hey, Volleyball?" he raised his hand towards her shoulder.

Suddenly, Steven was interrupted when the gem turned around to look his way-

"Whaa-"

Steven jumped back from the sheer horror of what was in front of him. Her face was...

Shattering? 

He remembered watching her already broken eye crack further, while on their 'trip' to the reef. But now, It appeared as if both her eyes were completely destroyed. Her once pointy nose was broken. While her mouth was cracked on one side. Yet her gem was perfectly fine. Everything else on her body stayed the same as well.

"How did this happen to you…!?Please tell me what happened…!" He tried to get something out of her, to which she didn't respond. Instead she made sobbing noises.

"Who hurt you?" he asked.

No answer.Even as she cried, no tears came out. It was just hard to watch this.

"Did...did she hurt you?" Steven asked the gem before him.

This made the Pearl look at his direction. Her face became straightened up. All she did was stare with a blank expression. But she wasn't staring at him. Steven backed up from her facial expression, and felt a presence from behind.

He was hesitant to turn around, and did so slowly.

Spinel? Her head was down as usual. Nothing he saw was out of the ordinary. But what was she doing following him? 

"Spinel, what… are you doing he-"

"You never came back…" She cut him off.

"What… What are you talking about? I was just with you a sec-?"

"-I couldn't help it. I promised to never do this.But… but I just snapped."

Steven paused. He began putting the pieces together. The logic in this didn’t matter.

"You...you did this to her?" Steven turned for a brief second, but caught his full attention to see no one in front of him. Pink Pearl was no longer in sight. It was like she had vanished in thin air.

“What is going on-?” 

"No…" a hushed tone, only loud enough for Steven to hear from behind him.

He could feel his veins freeze on the spot from the voice. His skin felt cold, as his gem began activating itself. But no shield came out. Instead, his body wailed pain. 

Steven groaned from the reaction, as he began to shake violently. He dared not turn around, but something made his body slowly swift around to see the perpetrator. Or better yet, prepretrators.

And to his horror, the two once pink gems, stood before him. Their color was completely wiped from their skin and clothes. Pink’s face was lifeless, as her skin shattered like glass. Then there was Spinel. Her eyes were blackened while black tears were coming out.

"You did this to us." a harsh-sounding voice came from their once high pitched ones.

\------

A loud scream echoed through the medium sized room, as Steven forced his eyes open. He grew more conscious of himself, jumping up suddenly from what appeared to be his bed. Looking around, he was in his room.

"What just happened...what was that…?" he asked quietly.

From the time Connie left up until now, was any of it real? It felt real. All of it, up until the end. He didn't quite remember what happened after he parted ways with…

Spinel. Was that all real? Pink Pearl's face was...no, she wouldn't have done that. That was just a dream. Part of him wanted to believe most of last night did happen while the rest became a blur. He was tired after all. Steven looked to see he still had the same clothes from yesterday. He wanted to see if there would be any type of proof that she did come on Earth

'Well there was one thing.'

It was still dark outside, but the sunrise was at foot. The door to his balcony was still left open. He closed the door behind him, and decided to check out the hilltop where everything started. Steven leaped up to the tower, high enough to reach the lighthouse. He began walking towards the crater-like hole. The walk alone made him visualize the events last night. From the footsteps the two walked up as he walked down, up until he saw it. The exact spot he fell down and the rubble of flowers and grass in place of the fall incident.

Steven then patted himself to check his phone. It was cracked, but the screen still lit up. His battery was at 17%. With the time displaying 6:24 A.M.

Then he noticed he had an alarm set for 1:30 PM. But for what again? Oh right… he proceeded to check his gallery, looking at the most recent photos of the pebbles.

"So it was real after all," He thought.

Everything from the night walk to walking her home. But that other part... When he left her room, it wasn't real. It couldn't have been real. He must've been hallucinating or something. It was a dream! He was in bed after all! and everything was proven that the first set of events did indeed happen. Just how did-

"Steven!?" He heard from a far distance of Pearl calling for him.

Steven ran back up the hill top to see that Pearl was on his balcony, walking towards his dome room. Steven quickly leaped back down.

"Oh, hey Pearl," he glided towards her.

"Oh there you are! What are you doing out here?" She asked.

"Oh yeah. I was just uhh… going out for an early morning walk and stuff!" Steven went.

Pearl had a bewildered look on her face. Steven took it as though she didn't believe him.

"Steven, are you okay?" Her voice filled with worry.

Steven knew it would take a lot more than just reassuring Pearl he was fine. Especially from the previous episodes they had from the last few months. His attitude was no longer childlike. Pearl couldn't treat him like one anymore. He was almost an adult after all.

"I'm fine. I just had a nightmare. It was nothing." he responded.

"Nothing? Steven I just heard what appeared to have been your voice screaming bloody murder and I ran up to find you not in your room. Then I see you out here. That wasn't just nothing," She argued.

He didn't respond. He wasn't sure what she was getting at, but he couldn't tell her the exact truth.

"Please, Steven, we've been through this before and all I want to do is help you," She pleaded.

"Pearl. I said I'm fine. Don't worry about me so much," Steven went, his voice filling with a harsh attitude. Pearl's eyes just looked down at the ground and sighed.

"Alright Steven," She said quietly. Steven immediately felt bad, he just wasn't used to his own anger.

"I'm sorry Pearl. I'm just a little cranky...that's all," he admitted.

"Long night?" She asked.

Steven nodded but said nothing more. Pearl only left it at that. She couldn't get too much in his personal life than what she knew now. Pearl sighed before continuing another conversation.

"Well since you're up now, Garnet and I were leaving for Little Homeworld to adjust some things around for the upcoming newcomers for tomorrow. If you need anything just call us please?"

"I know Pearl," Steven got out his phone, and to his surprise, Pearl nearly screamed from the sudden realization.

"STEVEN! What happened to your phone?" She panicked.

"Oh! Umm, I just accidentally dropped it when Spi-umm -c-Connie and I were spinning around-"

"The car was spinning around?"

"No! We were just spinning around in a field, and my phone just flew out w-while it happened." He further lied into reasoning.

"Oooh Steven do you realize how much time and effort it took for me to get you that phone?"

"Pearl it's fine, my phone still works. Don't worry, see?" Steven proved to her to show that his phone was up and running.

"Oh...well then... Just be careful next time. Anyways I should be on my way, Garnet's probably waiting for me."

"Yeah! Don't let me keep you! See ya Pearl."

Steven waved his goodbye as he watched over his balcony to see the two walking.

Steven yawned out loud. He still felt exhausted. The adrenaline of the nightmare waking himself as well as Pearl's overwhelmed concern for him drove his energy up for so long. He began slowly walking back to his room, closing the door behind him. After he took his jacket off tossing it over the T.V., he suddenly fell forward on his bed. Nothing had ever been so comfortable in his life.

"Just a few more hours." He whispered.

Steven then pulled his covers over him. He surely didn't want to have that same nightmare again. He just needed a few more hours of peaceful sleep, then everything would be better than ever.

It's not like he had anything going on today. It was Sunday after all.

  
  



	6. Indecision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes... it's been a while, but it is here! There's been a lot that happened ....ALOT....and things just became complicated for me to continue on with the chapters. But I never gave up. This story resonates with me :') Anyways enough with the excuses... I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

"Then, the worst part happened when my parents forced me to stay after class for overtime tutoring."

"That's kind of surprising."

"These are my parents we're talking about, Steven." Connie's voice huffed out in slight aggravation. 

Steven wasn't sure what else to say and only laid on his bed in silence, waiting for her to start back up the conversation. But it remained silent, and vivid noises came from Connie's end. 

Usually, she would video chat with him often, but instead, she called. This told him something was wrong from the get-go, and he was right. They had been talking on the phone about her morning disaster.

It first started with her sleeping over her scheduled time, which was usually 6:45. She had class at 8 while she woke up at 7:40. Not only that, but she also left her notes back home from her parents, rushing her out the door. Her parents proceeded to scold her for the entire trip to school and back. Everything she had told him up until to now nonetheless sounded like one problem after another. 

"I just don't understand this aging cycle. You'd think parents would start bothering you less after you turn 16," Connie's voice peaked through the other line, bringing the teen boy out of his thoughts. 

"Sometimes, life kinda jumps at us with surprises in our lives."

"By the way," Connie's tone in her voice softened over the phone, readying Steven for what was her next line of words. "Sorry... about the whole 'parents coming over' thing."

He thought back just a couple hours ago when her parents decided to visit him as he'd imagined.

This had been their fifth time doing this over the past couple of years. Usually, Pearl and Garnet were here, but this time it was slightly different. Amethyst was the only one around by the time they knocked on their door. And this time, he had slept over the usual time he would be up. But no one questioned it. Right after their talk, everything went back to normal. He took a shower, ate breakfast, and watched T.V, up until Connie had called.

"Hey, it's fine, seriously," 

"No, it's not, Steven! They keep their eyes on me, 24/7," She further exaggerated their strict, overbearing behavior. "And to top that off, they know who you are! It's not like I'm hanging out with some random person…"

"Well, explains why they thought to blame me for the incident this morning was the solution." 

Getting out of the bed, Steven headed towards the stairs. He was sort of used to being the one blamed for specific problems, especially when it came to his loved ones. And it was technically his fault. This whole ordeal happened due to Connie sleeping over his home last night. And this wasn't the first time. It just sort of happened.

"What did they say to you this time?" Connie interrupted Steven's thoughts.

"Well, the same' o lecture they usually give. I apologized and left it at that, no harm done," Steven answered back.

"Steven, you didn't have to apologize. It wasn't your fault,"

"Well, maybe they don't see that." he countered.

"And that's the problem. My parents can't trust me at this point."

"We're still teenagers," he replied.

"Says you." She retorted his comment.

"C'mon Connie, I'm only 17. It still doesn't change the fact that they still see us as kids." He tried explaining.

"Steven...we've been to space and even faced a Dictatorial Alien race light years away from here! We've saved the Earth countless times! In those cases, that just gives us more than enough credibility," Connie huffed over the phone. "Even your dad isn't this strict." She added.

The silence in their voices stirred up the room once again, and the only sound came from his aimless footsteps. He could tell she was not happy about this at all, and couldn't blame her either. She was technically right about the lack of discipline from his father. 

In some sense, he could relate, recalling the many times they treated him like a child. It was worse when they hid things away from him and later defended their actions. Connie was sort of aware of this. She had witnessed this for as long as she had known him. 

But, her situation was the complete opposite of his. He wasn't aware of the different aspects of being a teenager, such as preparing for college or working on projects versus the other things that he had in his life. Most of his life revolved around his alien side.

"Connie, we're growing up, and I'm sure they know that. But they also see us facing this world on our own someday. At least that's what I think," He paused for another brief second. "In my honest opinion, I think they just want the best for you… I want the best for you too."

"I know." there was a long pause on the other side of the phone, "It's just...its happening all over again." 

He knew what she meant. They had done this many years ago when she first met him. Eventually, they grew to trust her after the many events she encountered while hanging around Steven. Like that time with the hospital incident.

"Have you considered talking to them about it?" He asked.

"Yea, I guess. I just don't know how to find the right moment when I'm always busy," 

"Well, what are you doing now?"

"Pretending that I'm studying for my summer course," She said back.

"oh, well I'll call you later than-"

"No, Steven, I'm the one who called you! It's fine. Plus, they're not even here."

Steven looked at a noticeable calendar in the kitchen. June was three weeks away. Connie was still going to her local high school as usual, but this was her final week. That meant she had all of next week "off" if her parents didn't already plan out anything.

"Well, maybe you could talk to them once you're done with school this week. Then next week, you would like to spend time with them and talk to them about how you've been feeling?"

There was no response. Steven felt as if his word of advice had gone one ear and out the other. He didn't want her to take his advice if it didn't work out for her.

"Or you could probably talk to them when the time is right-"

"Will you be there with me?" she continued, "That is...if I decide to talk to them?"

Connie's tone of voice was different. Steven could hear it. For some reason, his nerves came over him.

"Y-yea! Of course! Just let me know when and I'll be right at your doorstep!" 

"How about...later this evening?" 

Steven opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Today? He couldn't argue with her, though it felt as if he was being rushed in on this. He looked at the clock, located on the wall by the dining room.

12:17 P.M

"Connie, I don't think they want to see me right now, considering how they came over a few hours ago and bickered with me." He commented, in hopes of her not winning this round. Usually, he would give in to her request. But this is different, and he had an actual reason. And he hopes she wasn't going to question it for this one time.

"Yea… I guess you're right."

"Let's plan it out instead... maybe tomorrow?" He suggested

"Yea! That actually works." Connie agreed, "Once I'm out of school, we could meet halfway?" 

"Sure! I don't see why not! I'm usually doing mostly nothing throughout the week anyway except ya know, checking up on friends." He felt himself over talk.

"Y'know, you really should change that type of mindset," Connie's tone of voice was different just from a second ago.

"Well~I usually try to use my days appropriately without just staying home all day." 

"Steven… that's not what I'm talking about." Her voice peaked through in seriousness, making Steven react nervously. 

Before he could respond, there were distinct sounds on the separate line. Steven remained quiet, recognizing it was her parents' voices.

"My parents just got back from the store, better get off the phone before they catch me."

"Right! Talk to you later, then?"

"Maybe," 

"Works for me," He said.

Before he could say his goodbye, a click from the other line ended their call. Steven sighed out loud, closing his eyes for a few seconds before adjusting them. After wandering around the house, aimlessly, he ended up at the temple. His eyes scanned around, while he places his phone back into his pocket.

The teen boy headed towards the stairs near the front room, pacing each step up. Just as he reached his room, he felt his heart skip a beat when his vision held the image of a familiar gem right on his balcony. But a few blinks allowed him to visually see no one in sight. 

Steven laid on his bed, resting on his hands behind his head and staring at the ceiling, the same position as before.

It was all coming back to him. All of last night. Even that nightmare. When the thought came to mind, he could visualize it all over again.

He knew Connie was aware of most of his problems. And she did her best to support him when given a chance. But he didn't want her to worry about him all the time. She had her own life to deal with. She already found a purpose in her life.

He wanted to find a purpose in his life too. And It was harder than he thought. Anything he's ever done, whether it be his job or out of his nature, often revolved around helping out someone in need.

And now, Spinel was back in his life. This made things more complicated. It wasn't like it was destined to happen at some point. Steven knew he would willingly help her out. He did, in fact, like the idea of being needed for his help. It almost felt like the right thing to do in this situation. It was partially his fault for blatantly ignoring her cry for help, while he chose to think about himself. 

He wasn't how long this situation would take, reconciling a lost friendship from two gems refusing to talk to each other. Based on what Spinel had told him, it felt more like fear. She feared for the worst, rejection. And there was a reason for that, a good reason at that. Her lack of self-worth and being constantly reminded of her status even if it wasn't direct.

Maybe it sat with him more than he thought because, in a way, she reminds him of himself. '_ I understand you, Spinel.' _ Everything she told him last night, it stayed with him. At the beginning of his deal with the Diamonds, he willingly gave her the proposition of being his _replacement _without realizing what he had just done. The word alone felt revolting to think of. 

At first, it didn't sound as bad, and he even had good faith that this was the direction she needed to go to 'start over.' He never thought about it until she pointed it out. And even to now, she struggled to make some sort of friendship. The pebbles, sure, but she couldn't stay in one place for the rest of her life. He knew she cared for Pink Pearl. But even _she _couldn't help. It was only Spinel who could help herself. And he was willing to be there for her. She came to him, after all...

The others had no business in knowing what led to this. Not even Connie. He knew how she would react. This will be their secret for now. He preferred it that way. Then, later on, he could reintroduce her to Earth, as he promised. It would be short and sweet, and the gems usually trusted him when he made such drastic decisions after all. He had a feeling Garnet was already aware of this path he chose. Even he wasn't sure what would happen next.

"Ugh, So much to think about."

Steven opened up his phone. With the crack across his screen, made the center impossible to read, but the rest remained intact. The time on the corner read 12:35 P.M

\----

_ '40...39...38...37...36...' _

The mental clock played Spinel's head since the time Steven had left. She counted down the time, from second to second. 

Sitting on the ledge, she stared into space. The once quiet dark skies transcended into a bright and lively forenoon. Noises came from both inside and outside her room. One side came from the noisy pebbles, while the other came from behind her. It was outside of the door, where the sound of gems was walking up and down the halls. It was blurry, but it was still present.

The energy alone from the activeness of Homeworld stirred up the gem, only in the right way. She was made for this type of energy and loved every ounce of it. But, this didn't make her get up one bit. Only one thing was on her mind; Steven. 

_ F _or some reason, she felt herself get a little too excited for what was to come. The idea of seeing Steven again gave her some range of hope. If anything, he would be the only person to understand her enough to help her.

Many gems surrounding her on Homeworld were relaxed about this new idea of change. They found their path after the many thousands of years living in their old ideology, making it seem effortless. And it was supposed to be easy, yet she still struggled with this. After everything Steven did for her, she struggled to find herself.

_ 'I want you to find yourself, Spinel.' _ The reminder came back to light. Steven would help her with her situation with Pink Pearl if she found herself. From that 'pinky promise' as he called it. It was a weird type of way to commit to someone, but she hoped it would work. 

_ 'Can I call you... my Diamond?' _The shuttering thought sent her gem in pieces, metaphorically speaking. She didn't know what came over her to ask him such an odd request. It felt forced, and it was silly.

Steven agreed nonetheless. But was it...genuine?

_ 'Friends don't lie, Spinel.' _Up to now and even when she first met him unpleasantly, Steven had told her that they were friends. Though she wasn't buying it. The way he used the word so loosely felt as if it had no actual meaning. Perhaps she took the idea of friendship on a personal level. It was hard, even for herself, to explain. 

The Diamonds would never understand. They had their own set of flaws, but they never had to serve others all their lives. She did that for Pink, only to find out it never meant a thing. 

Spinel sighed, and facepalm from her wondrously contemplating the situation at hand. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. But...why was she making it seem like it was life or death? It was a simple miscommunication between her and Pip. More or less on the miscommunication part. Their last altercation was a few weeks ago, leading her to hide in this spot from everyone, even the Diamonds. Sure she didn't have to be here, but she chose to.

_ '29...28...27…' _

It was evident that she was still attached to Pink. Surely everyone else missed her, but Spinel felt some sort of hold that never left her. Even after 6000 years of abandonment, the memories she endured with Pink felt precious and remained intact. But, the more she looked back at it, she could tell it was all by force. And after hearing Pip's side of the story, Spinel knew what this meant. She came last. She always came last. 

Her Diamond's blatant expressions of annoyance reminded the pink gem that she wasn't still happy even when Spinel thought she was. Steven was here now. Her 'son.' He wasn't like her after everything they went through. But was it a lie? Did he want to help her? 

"Ugh, why am I overthinking this?" She buried herself in the artificial bushes near the ledge. "He's not like her… he'll be here." 

\---

"Dude, you're still here?" Amethyst said while kicking the door open. This alarmed Steven at first, but soon after, he calmed down. She had her hands behind her head while lazily walking in, heading towards the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah," Steven said. 

He was already sitting at the dining room, taking bites from the sandwich he made a few minutes ago.

"Ooh, what kind of sandwich did you make? I could go for a tuna and banana mixture."

Steven felt nearly himself throw up in his mouth from the thought. He was used to her antiques, but sometimes her idea of eating bothered him. 

"Right, I just made a regular type of sandwich." He commented, forcing down a bite. "What are you doing here, anyway? Don't you have a class to teach?" 

The purple gem took out a random assortment of condiments, bread, canned tuna, and bananas.

"Dude, what do you think I'm doing?" She retaliated with another question.

The hybrid watched as the gem closed the fridge after grabbing out ingredients. 

"Umm...making a sandwich?" He answered. He wasn't sure if she was being literal or had some sort of catch to this question.

"Exactly! That's part of my teaching. I'm just letting my students do what humans do exactly!" 

"Oh… I see." He commented briefly.

"Umm, you okay? You seem pretty bummed out since this morning."

"I'm fine."

"You sure-?"

"Yes," Steven quickly said before she could finish her sentence.

"Ooookay whatever you say, dude." Amethyst finished her tuna-banana sandwich, took it in one bite before heading back out.

"And since you're so~ worried about my teaching habits, Imma go check on my students. See ya," She said while exiting out the door.

Steven sighed. "Is it that noticeable? Am I that easy to read?" He asked himself. A sudden buzz came from his phone.

_ Reminder_, the message read, something he vaguely remembered setting up when he set his alarm. On the corner of his device, the time had read 1:15 P.M. "Maybe I should leave a little early," It wasn't like he was doing anything at the moment. The sooner, the better.

"But...what are we even going to do?" That question popped in his head as he took bites of his meal. He didn't think this through. He told Spinel he would come to visit and start right away without an actual plan on what they were gonna go. A few ideas came to him. Walking around, Homeworld could be a good start. 

He hasn't seen the upkeeps of Homeworld since last year. Based on others, it seemed like his speech of peace, and the new Era made things easier for the gems on their home planet. Things have been very different from the past years since Steven's voice of reason came through with the Diamonds. Now that they saw past their ways, they were able to share that with other gems with less fortunate backgrounds. Some were happy about this newly developed democracy, while others weren't. Especially those in higher ranks. For the most part, Steven hasn't seen any type of resentment.

Pink Pearl came to mind. When would be the best time to go directly to the source of her problem? He hasn't given thought to this and only made a promise blindly without a sorted out plan. In his nature, Steven knew how to make amends with his words alone, but this was completely different.

It was someone he had a not so good history with. And the worst part was that it was never resolved from his carelessness those many years ago. He didn't know much about Pink Pearl other than giving her a silly nickname and finding out what happened to her. Pearl and she seemed to have gotten along ever since, yet he never pushed himself to do the same like he did others. 

He wasn't even sure where Pink Pearl lived. Now that he thinks about it, he's never really seen how other gems lived than his caretakers. Did gems have magical rooms like them? Something made him doubt that idea. His mother, Pink Diamond, had some sort of influence towards that type of luxury. Steven stares over at the temple, from its warp pad to the temple gate.

With that in mind, he sat up from the dining room chair, cleaned his mess, and headed back to his room. He readied himself after grabbing his jacket and sandals, walked to the door to his balcony, and closed the door behind him. 

Every step he took, his legs became jello from anxiety. He wasn't sure why he was nervous, but it was harder to breathe.

The doors automatically opened to his crystal domed Conservatory, and the scene of plants appeared. Leaves were extracted, bloomy fully from the sun's energy. They were lively and bright. But it all felt like a masked lie. Just from looking at the scene, Steven felt his gem pulse. This sent waves through his body as a recollection came back. 

"This is nothing, this is nothing." He told himself. No matter how many times he came in here, the memories stayed put. Steven stared ahead to see the warp pad in the center. He bit his lip from prolonging a simple task and walked over to the center of the room, standing in place.

"Well.. here goes nothing." A light beamed through the sky, to outer space. It only took a few seconds, and there he was. The brightness of the now recognizable Throne room appeared before his eyes. It was almost like he never left from last night. The only difference was noticeable; It was lively.

During this time of day, gems were more prominent. The Diamonds were lenient and allowed anyone to enter the throne room as they please, making it an excellent place for political standpoints and historical touring. This also included the many luxuries excluded from gems once before.

"Spinel." He said out loud, reminding himself who he came for. Steven stepped off the pad and headed her way. He sure hoped things won't be awkward like before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently halfway done with the next chapter, but I have each chapter planned out (In my head at least lol) And ALSO, I am reediting the previous chapters. So expect changes. The story is the same, but my grammar and sentence structure lacked. I recently got with a beta reader and we've been working endlessly, so that's another thing I've been doing on the down-low. Anyways, I hope you guys are safe out there during these crazy times.

**Author's Note:**

> 12/5/19 - This story is in the progress of being beta read! Chapter one is a beta read completely. Feel free to check it out, if you wish to reread it! :D


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